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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173563">iRemember</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writer_SN/pseuds/Ghost_Writer_SN'>Ghost_Writer_SN</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycarlydotcom/pseuds/mycarlydotcom'>mycarlydotcom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>iCarly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:22:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writer_SN/pseuds/Ghost_Writer_SN, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycarlydotcom/pseuds/mycarlydotcom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Freddie is badly injured.  Now Sam, Freddie as well their friends and family have to deal with the results.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Freddie Benson/Sam Puckett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. iRemember C1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is a collaboration between myself and MyCarlyDotcom.  Without his help, this story would not be what it is.  Please take a moment to look at his other works here, I believe that you will like what you read!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Samantha Benson was waiting, rather impatiently, in the ED for one Dr. Greene to speak with her about Freddie.  Sitting down for what felt like the thousandth time, in a chair that looked like it was from the 1970s, Sam was steadily getting closer to losing her temper.  The nurse behind the desk had told Sam that Dr. Greene would be out to speak with her within the hour, but that was damn near two hours ago.  Every time the door into the ED opened, Sam would look up to see if they were coming towards her.  The extended delay in receiving any kind of information only served to distress Sam, and deeply upset her.  The last person who walked through those doors immediately turned and walked down the hallway.  Sam soon found herself thinking back over the previous several hours, and depending on what news the doctor delivered, how her life might change.</p>
<p>     The day had started just like any other Monday, Freddie was the first to wake up and get ready for work.  He had come out of the bathroom to try and roust her to do the same, "Sam, it's time to get up," Freddie called gently from across the room.  Sam had, of course, heard him, but in her typical fashion did nothing, not even open her eyes.  Freddie groaned, he knew it would likely take him three or four more attempts to get her up.  The second attempt was only marginally better as Sam did try to open her eyes, but it was too bright, and she shut them immediately.  Freddie smiled at this; he felt the same way whenever he'd wake up, annoyed that there was no way to block out the light completely. "Sam," Freddie said sternly, "you need to get up, or you'll be late for work," before moving over to the bed and kneeling beside her.  Freddie had several ideas to get Sam up and running, but most of them would likely result in him being in pain, not what he wanted.</p>
<p>     After mentally sifting past the ideas that were unsafe for him, he seemed to have two, but there was only one that they would both enjoy.  Sam had turned so that she was looking up, which worked well with what Freddie had planned next.  Leaning down, Freddie was mere inches from Sam's face, "Sam, it's time to get up," he whispered," before he captured her lips with his own.  The initial shock made Sam struggle for just a moment before she realized what Freddie was doing and relaxed.  A couple of minutes passed before Freddie broke their kiss, which earned him a growl from Sam, "That was not fair," she whined, finally sitting up.  A chuckle escaped Freddie's lips, "You brought it on yourself," he said, before slipping on his shoes, "I'm going to wake the kids up and then go start breakfast." Stopping just short of their bedroom door, Freddie turned back to Sam, "Do you want bacon for breakfast," he asked half-jokingly.  Sam turned and glared at Freddie, "I know, stupid question," he said, turning to go downstairs with a knowing smile on his face.</p>
<p>     Freddie stopped at the twin boy's bedroom and knocked twice before entering.  Freddie was pleased to see that Ethan and Evan were already awake and waiting for him, "Good morning, boys," he said, walking in and picking up the already laid out clothes and proceeded in dressing them.  Finishing up with the twins, Freddie placed their sleepers in the hamper before herding them out the door, "You two head downstairs, I need to get your sister up and then I'll start breakfast." Ethan dutifully headed down the stairs, but Evan stopped at the top, "Daddy, can we watch tv until breakfast is ready?" he asked, putting on his best sad puppy dog face.  While Freddie could very readily see past the puppy dog look, he saw no reason not to let Ethan and Evan watch a little tv, "Yes, but when it's time to eat, the tv goes off, understand?" Evan nodded before going downstairs.</p>
<p>     Freddie now moved to their oldest child's room immediately across the hall from the twin's room.  Once again, Freddie knocked twice on the door before entering, "Lexi, it's time to get up, sweetie," he said, seeing his daughter still covered from head to toe.  Lexi was so much her mother's daughter, she may have gotten a few traits such as her hair and eye color from Freddie, but everything else, including appetite and sleeping habits, was all Sam.  Freddie watched to see if there was any movement underneath the blanket, but just as he figured, there was none. "Alexis Marie Benson, it's time to get up and get ready for school," Freddie said in his best dad tone.  Lexi groggily sat up, "I’m up, dad,” she said, standing up to make her way to begin her morning routine.  Now that Lexi was up and moving, Freddie headed downstairs to get breakfast ready for everyone.</p>
<p>     Reaching the bottom step, Freddie looked in on the boys, “What do you two want for breakfast?” he asked.  Ethan answered first, “I want cereal, with a banana, cut up in it, please.”  Freddie nodded, “Evan, what do you want?”  Evan looked a little sheepish as if his answer might not sit well with Freddie, “Can I have pancakes?” he asked tentatively, thinking his dad would say no.  “Got it,” he said with a smile, “so one order of cereal and one order of pancakes, coming right up,” Freddie replied as he made his way to the kitchen.  Since Freddie would be cooking bacon as well as pancakes and possibly other items, a griddle would be best to consolidate the amount of time, not to mention dishes it would take to whip everything up.  While waiting for things to heat up, Freddie grabbed what he needed to make Ethan's breakfast. Sprinkling the griddle with water, Freddie could see that it was ready.  Pulling out the premade pancake batter, Freddie poured enough of the mixture for two “child” sized pancakes.</p>
<p>     While they cooked, Freddie poured Ethan’s cereal into a bowl, cut up half of the banana into it, then poured the milk.  Flipping Evan’s pancakes, he called the boys in so they could eat.  The boys were just sitting down when Freddie brought their food to the table, “try to keep the mess to a minimum,” he quipped, knowing they did their best.  Returning to the griddle, Freddie put half of the first pack of bacon on to cook just as Lexi came in the kitchen.  “Any requests for breakfast, Lexi?” he asked, watching the bacon so that it wouldn’t burn.  Lexi thought for a moment, “Do we have any ham left?”  Freddie’s brow furrowed, “I’m not sure, check the fridge,” he said, turning and moving the bacon over so he could put more on.  Lexi did as instructed and was thrilled to find that there was indeed ham leftover.  Pulling it out of the fridge, she set it down next to her father, “Can you heat some of this?” she asked, opening the tin foil.  “Is that all you want,” Freddie asked, a little concerned as this was not Lexi’s norm.</p>
<p>     “I was thinking about having a fried egg and some bacon as well,” she responded.  Freddie was relieved, the only time Lexi didn’t eat much was when she was sick, and they certainly didn’t need that right now.  “You got it, sweetheart, have a seat, and I’ll bring it over when it’s ready,” Lexi smiled, “Thanks, daddy,” she said before making her way to the table.  Removing the finished bacon from the griddle, Freddie moved the newest batch over, and then cleared some of the bacon fat off before grabbing an egg from the fridge and deftly cracking it open and frying it up.  He also placed several pieces of the ham on as well so that once the egg cooked, he could plate everything up.  “Daddy,” the boys chimed simultaneously, “Let me guess, you two want to go watch tv until we leave?” Freddie asked, already knowing what their response would be.  “Yes, please,” they said once again in sync, Freddie looked over to the table, “Bring me your dishes first, and then you can go watch tv.”</p>
<p>     Both boys quickly got up and put their dishes in the sink next to Freddie before rushing back into the living room.  A few minutes later, Freddie heard Sam tromping down the stairs, followed shortly after that by the twins, “morning momma.”  “Morning,” Sam replied, “what are you guys watching?” she asked, “it’s Peppa Pig,” they responded.  “Oh, well, you guys enjoy your show,” Sam said as she continued into the kitchen.  Sam instantly noticed the plate that was piled high with bacon, “That looks and smells delicious,” she said, practically drooling.  “What else did you want?  I still have pancake mix left, or I can cook you up an egg, or maybe some French toast.”  Everything Freddie had mentioned sounded great, but Sam knew he would need to leave soon to take Lexi to school before he went into the office.  “Why don’t you scramble up a couple of eggs for me, and I can always make something for myself later if need be,” she said.  Freddie grabbed two more eggs and cooked them as requested.</p>
<p>     Freddie plated the eggs and was just about to put a reasonably substantial portion of bacon on the plate when Sam swooped in and grabbed the entire dish.  “Just what do you think you’re doing?” he asked, snaking his arms around her waist.  Sam turned around in his arms as she finished the piece of bacon that was in her mouth, “I am going to eat all of this delicious bacon,” she said, popping another piece into her mouth.  “What if I wanted some?” he asked, leaning down to kiss her now bacon-flavored lips.  Sam grinned devilishly, “Well, I guess you should have gotten some before I came down, huh?” she said, stuffing another piece into her mouth.  For a split second, Freddie thought about taking a slice of bacon off Sam's plate but then thought better of it.  The last time he had done so, Sam had threatened him with a ride on the wedgie bounce machine they had used on Jonah back in high school.  She had mellowed quite a bit since those days, but Freddie still found it safer not to risk it, she was still Sam after all.</p>
<p>     “Besides, I am eating for two, you know.  At least I hope it’s just two,” Sam said, remembering that another set of twins was a genuine possibility.  Freddie leaned down, “Would it be so bad to have another set of twins?” he whispered to her.  Sam looked up at him, “maybe not for you; you’re not the one that has to be cut open,” she said before punching Freddie in the arm, a love tap as Freddie had come to call it, hard enough to know it had happened, but not hard enough to hurt or leave a bruise.  Freddie removed his arms so that Sam could go sit down and eat, “Oh, don’t forget that I have a meeting tonight, and I won’t be home at the regular time,” he said apologetically.  Sam sighed heavily, “That’s right,” she said, “any idea what time you’ll be home?” she asked.  “Honestly, I have no idea.  The meeting isn’t even starting till 5:00 PM, and Bill didn’t tell us what the meeting was about,” he responded matter of factly.</p>
<p>     Sam knew there was nothing either of them could do, Freddie had to be there, she just didn't like not knowing when her husband would be home.  Freddie noticed Sam’s reaction, “I’ll call you as soon as I leave the office,” he promised.  “I just hope it’s a short one since he’s waiting until after the office closes.”  Freddie checked his watch, “Lexi, get your things together for school, we need to get going,” he called out to the living room.  “Okay, dad,” she said, getting up and grabbing her book bag.  Freddie walked over to Sam, “I’ll see you later,” he said, kissing her goodbye.  Freddie stopped near the twins, “Ethan, Evan, don’t forget that momma is going to pick you up from preschool today,” he said, receiving acknowledging nods from them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. iRemember Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Freddie dropped Lexi off at school, thankfully, with a minimal amount of fuss from the six-year-old, and then headed towards his office.  Pulling into his usual parking spot, Freddie noted that he had over thirty-minutes before he typically started working.  Walking into the building, Freddie headed directly to the break room to make coffee, and get his day started.  Once the coffee finished, Freddie poured himself a steaming cup before making his way to his office to get his day started.  The first half of the day was peaceful and quick, with only small issues that needed Freddie’s attention, but Freddie was still grateful when he checked his phone to see that it was close to lunchtime.  While Freddie did like his co-workers, he preferred eating lunch in his office on the off chance Sam called and needed help with something at home.</p>
<p>     While waiting for his food to heat up, one of Freddie’s co-workers had also come into the breakroom to warm up their meal.  “Hey, Freddie,” Joy said, opening the microwave and placing her meal inside.  “Hey, Joy,” Freddie said, offering a smile and quick wave.  “How’s Sam doing?  I haven’t seen her in a while,” she said, in an attempt to make small talk.  Freddie wasn’t in the mood, but he also didn’t want to be rude, especially since both he and Sam knew Joy from Ridgeway, “Sam’s fine, been tired here lately.”  A sincere smile graced Joy’s face, “that’s good to hear,” she said as both microwaves began beeping, “will you tell her I said hi?” Joy asked, removing her plate from the microwave.  Freddie nodded, “I sure will,” he said, extracting his food as well.  “Thanks, Freddie, see you at the meeting,” she said before disappearing out the door.  Freddie grabbed his food and drink and returned to his office.</p>
<p>     Sitting down, Freddie pulled his cell from his pocket to see if there were any missed calls or texts.  Seeing as there were none, Freddie typed out a quick message to Sam, “Hey, babe, I just wanted to see how your day has been going,” and pressed send.  Freddie dug into the leftover lasagna that Sam made the night before, while it wasn’t quite the same as Pini’s, it was a damned close second.  He had just taken his second bite when Sam responded, “Pretty good so far, and the twins are keeping me busy.  How’s yours going?  Any idea when you’ll be able to leave tonight?”  Freddie could only imagine what those two were doing, “So far, everything has been pleasant, but I really wish I were home, and the meeting is supposed to last about an hour, so it should finish no later than six.”  Freddie sent the text and set his phone down to continue enjoying his food.  His phone didn’t buzz again until after he was finished eating and already back to work, “Sorry, I couldn’t respond earlier, but your boys hid my phone and I just now found it.”</p>
<p>     Freddie had to laugh at that, “My boys, huh?  My boys would never do something like that,” he sent back with a smirking emoticon.  Sam responded quickly, “Yes, your boys,” she replied, with a smirking emoticon of her own.  ‘It looks like I’ll have to talk to them when I get home,’ Freddie thought to himself.  ‘I wonder if there is anything else going on that I should know about before I get home,’ so Freddie sent a text asking as much.  Sam responded, “no, but once you get home, they are all yours,” she said, complete with a devious smile emoticon.  Freddie could only chuckle; he would have taken them off of her hands when he got home anyway, so his response was a simple thumbs-up.  The remainder of the day went off without any further problems, and before Freddie knew it, it was five o’clock, and it was time for the meeting.</p>
<p>     Bill’s estimate was accurate, and the meeting was done by 5:45 PM, which meant by the time Freddie got his stuff together, he should be walking out the door right around 6 PM.  As Freddie was walking back to his office, he messaged Sam to let her know what time he should be home, “Hey, babe, I’m grabbing my stuff.  I will be on my way after, so I should be home by 6:30.”  Sam replied just a few minutes later, “Great, I just ordered pizza for dinner, and it should be here about the same time you get home.”  Freddie once again responded with a single thumbs up before putting his phone back in his pocket.  Grabbing his belongings, Freddie locked up his office and made his way to his car.  Entering his vehicle, Freddie was unaware of the police chase that was quickly approaching, or that the criminal they chased was hellbent on getting away at any costs.</p>
<p>     Freddie pulled up to the exit of the parking lot, looked both ways and pulled out onto the street.  It was at that point that Freddie heard the police sirens and was about to look around for them, but he never got the chance.  In an attempt to lose the police, the criminal had turned his lights off, figuring they wouldn’t be able to follow what they couldn’t see.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t expecting anyone to be in the area, and there was no time for either of them to react when Freddie pulled out of the parking lot.  In the blink of an eye, Freddie and the criminal’s vehicles collided, causing debris and the criminal to fly through the air.  Freddie, who had been wearing his seatbelt, was not ejected but was still in terrible shape.  Freddie attempted to reach his phone to call Sam, but he couldn’t, the last thing Freddie remembered before passing out was seeing the police pull up.</p>
<p>     Sam looked at her watch, it was 6:45 PM, and she was worried.  Freddie should have been home already or would have called if he had run into traffic or anything that would have caused him to run late.  “Mommy, where’s daddy,” Lexi asked from the kitchen doorway.  Sam smiled at her daughter, “I don’t know, he texted around six saying he was leaving the office, so he should have been home by now.”  Lexi was about to ask something else when Sam’s phone rang, “maybe that’s him now,” Sam said, grabbing her phone from the kitchen counter.  Sam answered her phone without even checking the caller ID, “Freddie, where the hell,” was all Sam got out before she realized that it was not Freddie on the other end.  “Hello, is this Samantha Benson?” a feminine voice asked tentatively.  Sam’s blood ran cold; this woman, whoever she was, was not one of their friends, she could tell that just by the fact that they had called her Samantha.</p>
<p>     Sam swallowed hard, “This is Samantha Benson,” she said, feeling a deep ceded fear starting to creep in.  “Mrs. Benson, my name is Beverly, I’m a nurse at UW Medical Center,” she paused a moment, “I’m calling about Freddie Benson, are you his wife?” she asked.  Sam placed her free hand on her belly, “yes,” was all she could say.  “Mrs. Benson, I’m sorry to have to inform you that your husband was involved in an accident.”   The nurse gave Sam only the most basic of information about Freddie, he was alive but in an unconscious state and seriously injured.  Lexi had only heard her mother’s side of the conversation, but she was a smart girl, and Lexi knew by what little she heard and the expression on Sam’s face that something had happened.  Sam hung up with the nurse and immediately dialed Carly, she was going to need someone to watch Lexi and the boys, and Carly was the first person that came to mind.</p>
<p>     “Come on, Carly, pick up the phone,” Sam said as the phone rang, for was it the third ring already?  The call rang once more and then went to voicemail, “damn it,” Sam swore under her breath and hung up without leaving a message.  She was in the process of dialing Adam when Carly called Sam back,” Hey, Sam, sorry I missed your call.  Wh” was all Carly was able to get out before Sam cut her off.  “Carly, I need you to come over and watch the kids for a little bit,” she said, her words rushed, her voice worried.  Carly picked up on it right away, “Sam, what’s wrong?  Why do you need me to watch the kids?”  Sam tried to answer, but for the first time, her voice failed her, “Sam, are you there?  Sam?” Carly could hear Sam’s ragged breathing, so she knew Sam was still there.  “Freddie,” Sam paused, willing herself not to cry, “Freddie was in an accident, I need to get to UW Medical Center, but I can’t take the kids.  Not until I can find out what’s going on with Freddie.”</p>
<p>     Carly’s heart dropped at hearing that Freddie had been hurt, and based on what little information Sam had, he could be in critical condition, and they hadn’t told her over the phone.  “I’m going to get Adam, and we’ll be there as soon as possible.  In the meantime, you get yourself ready, so you can leave when we arrive.”  Sam smiled sadly to herself, “thanks, Carly,” she said, her voice continuing to break.  “No problem, Sam.  We’re heading out the door now; we should be there in about ten minutes.”  Sam nodded even though Carly couldn’t see it, “I’ll see you when you get here,” she said, hitting the end button.  Adam, who had stepped into the living room for the final part of Carly’s conversation, was confused and concerned all at the same time, “Was that Sam?” he asked as they gathered their things together.  The expression on Carly’s face was enough to frighten Adam, but what she said next cinched the fear, “Yes, Freddie was in an accident, and she needs us to watch the kids for a little while,” she said.  Adam said nothing, there was nothing to say, Sam and Freddie needed them, and he’d be damned if they would let them down.</p>
<p>      Carly and Adam pulled into the driveway of Sam and Freddie’s house ten minutes later.  Sam walked out the front door as Carly and Adam were walking up, “Carly, Adam, thank you so much for doing this.  I don’t know how long I’ll be at the hospital, but I’ll keep you updated as much as I can,” Sam babbled that Carly almost asked Sam to repeat it.  Adam had understood it all; however, “No worries, Sam,” he said with a reassuring smile, “what do the kids know?” he asked, figuring that at some point, they would be fielding questions from them.  Sam sighed, “All I told them was that daddy was in an accident and was at the hospital.  The twins just seemed to accept that, but Lexi was in the room with me when I got the call, so she knows what I know at this point.”  Which is not much, Sam wanted to add, but she didn’t, “Oh, I tried calling Marissa, but the call went to voicemail.  I told her to call me as soon as she gets the message.  If she calls the house, have her call me on my cell, and I’ll fill her in.”  Carly nodded, “Will do, but you’d better get going.”  Sam nodded, jumped in her car, tore out of the driveway and up the road.</p>
<p>     Adam was the first through the front door, followed closely by Carly, “Aunt Carly, Uncle Adam,” Lexi said, as she ran over and hugged them.  Adam knelt in front of Lexi, “Hey, Lex, where are Ethan and Evan?”  Lexi turned and pointed up the stairs, “They went upstairs to their room,” Adam smiled at Lexi, “thanks,” he said, standing back up.  “I’m going to head upstairs and hang out with the boys,” he said, turning to Carly, “unless you want to that is,” he added.  Carly loved the boys just as much as she loved Lexi, but those two could certainly be a handful for her, and Adam felt that Carly would be able to help Lexi more than she could the boys.  “They’re all yours,” Carly said, “come on Lexi, it’s time for some girl time,” she said, leading Lexi to the couch.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. iRemember Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twenty minutes was the time a trip from the house to the hospital would generally take, but today, it merely took Sam ten minutes to make the commute.  Sam never liked being in the hospital, even during joyous occasions such as the birth of their children, Sam still did her best to get out as quickly as possible, so one could unquestionably imagine her dismay at having to be there for something like this.  Upon entering the hospital, Sam made her way to the front desk, almost running over a few people in the process.  “I’m looking for my husband, Freddie Benson,” Sam said with no hint of pleasantness in her voice.  The lady behind the desk didn’t miss a beat, “one moment, please,” she said as her fingers flittered over the keyboard.  Her eyes scanned the screen, “Freddie Benson is currently in the ICU, which is on the fifth floor.”</p>
<p>     Sam didn’t wait for the lady to say anything else, “thanks,” she said quickly before heading to the elevators. Frantically pressing the up button on the wall, Sam had hoped that at least one of the six lifts would open right away, but that faded quickly when none of the doors responded to the button press.  Though it felt like several minutes, it was less than one minute before one of the doors opened, and Sam was able to enter.  Sam’s anxiety kicked in as soon as she pressed the button for the fifth floor, and only increased as the car ascended to its destination.  Not even waiting for the door to fully open, Sam darted out and up to the nurse’s desk, “Where is Freddie Benson?” she asked, once again not even trying to be pleasant about it.  Upon hearing the name Freddie Benson, the nurse responded, “Mrs. Benson, please have a seat.  I am going to get Dr. Greene so she can speak with you before you see your husband.” Sam, taken aback by this, quickly realized that Freddie must be in horrible shape if the doctor wanted to talk to her first.</p>
<p>     Sam sat quietly, waiting for Dr. Greene to arrive, how much was wrong with Freddie, would he be able to walk, or do anything for himself, or even worse, was he going to die?  Sam’s thoughts were thankfully interrupted by someone calling her name, “Mrs. Benson,” Sam stood up, “that’s me,” Sam responded, hoping this was indeed Dr. Greene and not some flunky.  The tall redhead quickly approached Sam, “Mrs. Benson, my name is Dr. Emily Greene,” she said, extending her hand to Sam.  Sam shook her hand, “Thank you for coming out to speak with me, Dr. Greene, and please call me Sam.”  Dr. Greene nodded, “Sam, I know that they gave you minimal information on the phone, and unfortunately, that was my doing.  Your husband was involved in a severe crash, and I felt it better if I spoke with you in person.”  Sam nodded and waited for the doctor to continue.</p>
<p>     “I don’t know the specifics of what led up to the accident.  I do know that when the crash occurred, the person was driving more than 100 MPH.”  Sam gasped as a mix of emotions began to well inside her as Dr. Greene continued, “luckily Freddie was wearing his seatbelt which kept him from being ejected from the vehicle, and most likely saved him from being killed instantly.”  Tears stung Sam’s eyes, but for as much as she tried, Sam couldn’t stop them.  Dr. Greene took a deep breath, “Sam, I am sorry to say that is where the good news ends,” she paused, wanting to verify that Sam had heard what she said.  When Sam nodded, Dr. Greene continued, “Freddie has multiple broken bones, which will heal, but his head collided with the steering wheel hard enough to break it.”  Sam was no medical professional, but even she knew that trauma like that would most likely cause brain damage.  “Brain damage,” Sam said quietly, already assuming the worst, instead of hoping for the best.</p>
<p>     “That is one possibility, but based on the scans we have done so far, there does not seem to be any physical damage to Freddie’s brain.  There is one other thing you need to be aware of before going in to see him, Freddie’s in a coma, and honestly, we won’t know the extent of his mental condition if or until he wakes up.”  That “if,” piece of the doctor’s last statement hit Sam like a sucker punch to her gut, they weren’t positive that Freddie would ever wake up.  “I need to know doc, what are the chances of Freddie waking up, and don’t blow smoke up my ass either,” Sam said, not wanting to be coddled in any way shape or form.  Emily smiled; she found it refreshing that Sam didn’t want the watered-down version like so many others Emily had dealt with before.  Dr. Greene stood up and motioned for Sam to follow, “if you would please follow me, I’ll take you to his room.”</p>
<p>     Sam stood up and walked beside the doctor, “Sam, there are a few things that you need to know about Freddie’s current appearance.  His eyes swelled to roughly the size of golf balls, and we had to wire his jaw shut to allow it to heal, so even if he wakes up in the next two weeks or so, he will not be able to speak.  Also, there is a distinct possibility that Freddie may also suffer from amnesia, and before you ask, there is no way to know whether it will be temporary or permanent, or how bad it might be.”  Sam and Dr. Greene stopped outside of the last room of the ICU hallway, “I’ll let you head in, don’t be afraid to talk to him or hold his hand.  If you have any questions, you can reach out to any of the nurses at the desk, and if they can’t answer it, then they’ll get me.  I have some other things I need to take care of, but I’ll come back once I finish, okay, Sam?”  Sam nodded, “thank you, Dr. Greene, I appreciate your honesty,” she said, entering Freddie’s room.</p>
<p>     As Sam walked into Freddie’s room, she quickly took notice of all the equipment that was around the bed.  Some of them Sam recognized from her time in the hospital when the kids were born.  There were a few that she didn’t, and those frightened her the most.  Pulling the curtain open, Sam stepped in, and even with Dr. Greene’s warning, Sam felt chills down her spine when she saw her husband.  Freddie looked nothing like himself; his eyes looked like purple and black golfballs, a cast entirely covered his right leg, both of his arms, a massive bruise from where his head struck the steering wheel, and the worst was that he could only breathe thanks to the painful-looking tube in his throat.  Sam had watched many television shows with people in eerily similar situations, but to be at this moment, with Freddie of all people, well, Sam found herself woefully unprepared.</p>
<p>      Over the next few weeks, Freddie's coma continued, and Sam began to notice changes in the hospital staff.  Yes, they did their jobs and did what they could to keep Freddie alive, but Sam began to feel that it was only to appease her.  They had even tried to broach the subject of removing him from life support to which Sam did not respond well.  Sam was not going to give up on Freddie, they had been through too much together, and they would make it through this as well.  Sam had walked into Freddie’s hospital room for what felt like the thousandth time, but even though Freddie was still unconscious, his body was healing nicely.  His eyes were back to normal.  The casts on his leg and arms were smaller. Even the spot on his head was gone.  Taking what has become her usual spot, Sam sat in the chair next to Freddie’s side and took his hand.</p>
<p>     “Hey babe,” Sam said as she began running circles on the back of Freddie’s hand with her thumb.  “Listen up, nub,” Sam started again, “you need to wake up.  Everyone is terrified that you won’t.”  Sam wiped the tears that had pooled in her eyes, “Oh, hell, who am I kidding?  I need you to wake up.  I know this sounds pretty selfish of me, but you’ve been with me for all of the kid’s births, and the thought of you not being here for this one,” she stopped not wanting to finish that thought.  Sam placed Freddie’s hand on her belly, a fleeting thought in her mind that Freddie might respond to something he had done time and time again with her other pregnancies.  For a moment, Sam thought she felt Freddie’s hand move, but after watching his hand, Sam decided that she had simply imagined the movement.  Sam picked up Freddie’s hand, kissed it, and resumed tracing circles on it.</p>
<p>     When Carly entered the room a few minutes later, she found Sam deep in thought, “Sam, are you alright?” Carly asked, stepping to the opposite side of Freddie’s bed.  When Sam turned her attention to her best friend, it was easy for Carly to see the weariness in Sam’s eyes, “Hey Carls, you here by yourself?”  Carly tilted her head back towards the door,      “Adam and Spencer are waiting outside.  I wanted to come in and see how you were doing before they came in.”  Sam smiled thoughtfully, “I’m tired, but otherwise just fine,” she said just as a yawn escaped her mouth, “why don’t you have the guys come in,” Sam said, turning her attention back to her husband.  When Carly did not move towards the door, Sam got a distinct impression that Carly had another reason for coming in by herself.  “Sam, we’re worried about you, you’ve been running yourself ragged, I mean between work, the kids, and being here at the hospital, have you had any time to rest,” Carly said, earning a scowl from Sam.  “Carly, I told you I’m fine, besides until Freddie wakes up and can,” Sam stopped mid-sentence once she noticed the look on Carly’s face.</p>
<p>      “Oh my god, you’re beginning to think like them,” Sam said, pointing out the door, “you think that he won’t wake up, don’t you?” Sam crossed her arms as she waited for Carly’s response.  Carly sighed, “Look, Sam, I pray that Freddie comes out of his coma, but I also know that the longer he’s in it, the less likely it is that Freddie will wake up.”  Sam was beyond irritated now, and it showed, “You surprise me, Carly, of everyone involved I would not have imagined that you would give up on Freddie like this.  You’ve been his friend, our friend for years, how could you just give up on him,” Sam growled.  Carly saw the anger on Sam’s face, and for the first time, she thought that Sam might do something to hurt her.  “Sam, I’m,” but Sam cut her off, “save it, Carly, I don’t want to hear it.  I think you should leave before I lose it and do something that we will both regret,” she said, pointing to the exit.  Carly didn’t want to leave her best friend, but she knew that Sam needed time to cool down, “Okay, Sam, for what’s it’s worth I am sorry, and I sincerely hope that Freddie wakes up soon,” Carly said before walking out the door.</p>
<p>     As soon as Carly had stepped through the doorway, both Spencer and Adam looked from their seats, and both men could see that Carly was not her typical self.  “Carly, what’s wrong?  Has something happened with Freddie?” Adam asked.  Carly shook her head, “No, but Sam, she’s upset.  Sam thinks I’ve given up on Freddie ever waking up, but I haven’t.”  Adam knelt in front of his wife, “Carly, we know you haven’t given up on Freddie, and I’m sure that Sam doesn’t think you have, but Sam’s been through so much these last few months and I’m sure Sam just feels like everything is out of control.”  Carly knew Adam was right, but Carly still couldn’t help but feel as though she had somehow failed her two best friends.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. iRemember C4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Standing up, Adam placed a reassuring hand on Carly’s shoulder, “it will be alright, Carly, just let her have a little time.”  Adam turned to Spencer, “I’m going to stay out here with Carly for a little bit to make sure she’s okay.”  Spencer nodded, “I’ll talk to Sam,” he said, heading towards the door.  Just as Spencer neared the door, he could see Freddie, and unless he was hallucinating, Spencer could swear that he saw Freddie’s foot move underneath the blanket.  Spencer quickly spun around, “did you,” he started before realizing that neither Adam or his sister had been looking his way.  Turning back towards the door, Spencer watched for a moment to see if there would be any more movement from Freddie, “Spence, you okay?  Aren’t you going to go inside?” Carly asked.  Spencer for a split second thought about saying something but decided against it, “Ah, yeah, was going to ask a question, but I forgot what it was,” he lied before turning back and walking into the room.</p>
<p>     Hearing the door open, Sam looked up and was expecting to see Carly, but was pleasantly surprised to see Spencer instead.  “Spence,” she said, a wide grin spreading across her face.  “Hey Sam,” Spencer replied, crossing the room to embrace her, “how are you doing, kid?” he asked, releasing Sam from their hug.  Sam exhaled slowly, “Honestly, I’m exhausted.  The staff here is telling me that I need to prepare for the fact that Freddie may never wake up.  My mother can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble and Melanie won’t help her anymore,” Sam took a deep breath and exhaled, “but other than that I’m great,” she added sarcastically.  Spencer knew things were not going well with Sam, but he had not been aware of the problems with Pam and Melanie.  “How have things been with Marissa?” Spencer asked.  Sam smiled at the mention of her mother-in-law, “Marissa’s been great.  She’s helped with watching Lexi and the boys, she’s cooked, cleaned, and hell she’s even been running the kids around.”</p>
<p>     “It sounds like you and Marissa have gotten past your previous issues.”  Sam nodded, “most of them at least.  There are still a few things that she does that I wish she wouldn’t, just as I’m sure Marissa would say the same about me,” she said with a weak smile.  “Now, if Freddie would wake up,” Sam stopped as she saw Freddie’s hand twitch, “Spence, did you see that,” Sam asked excitedly.  Spencer had seen it, but as with Freddie’s foot, Spencer wasn’t positive he had seen it, “uh, yeah, I did!” he said excitedly.  Both Sam and Spencer quickly moved to Freddie’s side, where Sam grabbed Freddie’s hand, “Freddie, Freddie, can you hear me,” Sam asked, praying that his time in the coma was coming to an end.  As Sam and Spencer continued in their attempt to roust Freddie into consciousness, Carly and Adam had both entered the room to see what was happening.</p>
<p>     Freddie Benson’s head felt like someone was using it for a drum, and they were pounding exceedingly hard on it.  Then there were the voices, unfamiliar, garbled, but there.  As the ache in his head began to dissipate, the speaking became more natural to him as well, though he still did not recognize, no wait, there was one that was familiar to him.  Freddie was still having trouble understanding what was said, but it sounded like they were calling someone’s name.  As the minutes continued to pass, things were becoming more evident, and he was now able to make out the name, and it was Freddie.  Was Freddie his name?  It must be unless there is someone else in trouble too.  As he tried to open his eyes, Freddie inundated by an influx of pain and shut them again, but for a split second, his eyes were open, and he saw a blonde-haired woman standing next to him.</p>
<p>     Several minutes passed before Freddie attempted to open his eyes once more.  The second time was quite a bit more manageable for him, even though it was far from painless.  Once his eyes adjusted, Freddie found that he was in a hospital, but he didn’t know how he had gotten there, or why he was there.  Freddie wanted to speak but was unable due to the intubation tube in his throat.  Freddie tried to will his arms to move, but he quickly discovered that neither his arms or his hands would respond.  Was his body paralyzed, or was it only too weak to do what Freddie wanted of it?  Whatever the reason, Freddie didn’t care at this time, what he did care about was getting someone to get this damned tube out of his throat.  Since Freddie’s body continued to be unresponsive, he could think of one thing to do and released what he hoped was an audible growl.</p>
<p>     Thankfully the blonde-haired woman standing closest to him heard  Freddie and looked down at him, “Freddie, what is it?” she asked.  Freddie tried again to move his arms, and this time he was able to raise his hand to the intubation tube slowly.  For a split second, Sam was confused, but then she realized what Freddie wanted, “Hold on, let me get the nurse.” Sam said before taking off like a shot.  Watching the young woman leave caused Freddie sadness and even a little anxiety.  Even though he didn’t recognize her, something was telling Freddie that she had a unique relationship with him.  When Dr. Greene arrived, the nurse was still busy taking Freddie’s vitals, “So, I hear that Mr. Benson is now awake,” she said, stepping up next to the nurse.  “All of his vitals are normal,” the nurse noted to Dr. Greene, “well, that being the case,” she said, leaning over Freddie, “what say we remove this,” Dr. Greene said pointing to the tube.  </p>
<p>     Freddie nodded his agreement, “Okay, Mr. Benson, this is a simple process, but it may hurt, do you understand?”  Freddie nodded again, “Okay, first, I’m going to undo the tape holding it in place,” Dr. Greene said as Freddie felt the tape peel away.  Next, Dr. Greene deflated the cuff, “Okay, now I need you to take a deep breath and then exhale for me, okay?”  Freddie nodded once more before pulling in a deep breath, “Okay, in 3, 2, 1,” Dr. Greene said, pulling the tube as Freddie exhaled.  The removal caused Freddie to cough momentarily, but he was able to recover quickly, “Don’t try to speak right now, your throat needs a little rest before you try,” Dr. Greene said.  Freddie swallowed and immediately noticed just how much his throat hurt and decided that he would listen to Dr. Greene and not try to speak right now.  Dr. Greene turned to the nurse, “can you grab something for Mr. Benson to write on, “she said, removing a pen from her lab coat pocket.</p>
<p>     The nurse stepped out to the nurse’s station and returned a moment later with a pad of paper, “here you are,” the nurse said, setting the pad down in front of Freddie.  Dr. Greene placed the pen down as well, “Now Mr. Benson, for the next few hours at least, I’d like to write down any questions or concerns you might have, okay?”  Freddie nodded once more before picking up the pen and moving the pad closer to himself.  Freddie scribbled on the notepad and then turned the pad around so that the doctor could read it.  Sam glanced at what Freddie had written, and it made her blood run cold.  “What happened to me, and who are these people in my room?” was what Sam read.  Freddie did have amnesia, which the doctors had said could happen, but Sam had hoped that even Freddie didn’t remember the accident, he would at least remember her.  The fact that he didn’t know who she was brought a terrifying thought to Sam’s mind, would he recognize Lexi or Ethan and Evan?</p>
<p>     Dr. Greene explained to Freddie what had happened that led to him being in the hospital which Freddie readily accepted, “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to talk to everyone in here outside for a moment,” Dr. Greene said.  Sam, Spencer, Carly, and Adam followed the doctor out of the room and slightly down the hall, “As I’m guessing you all of figured out, Freddie does have amnesia, what we don’t know is how long it might last or if he’ll recover his memories at all.  Now, I know you are all close, but for the time being, I believe that it would be best to limit his visitors to immediate family only,” she said.  Dr. Greene saw the crestfallen expressions on Carly, Adam, and Spencer’s faces.  “Hopefully, it will only need to be for a week or two, but right now, Freddie needs to try and rebuild the connections to his memories, and nine times out of ten, the best way is through interactions with family.”  It was not something that any of them wanted to hear, but everyone nodded their understanding, “Sam, we’ll be in the waiting room if you need anything,” Carly said.  “Thanks, Carls,” Sam responded, hugging her friend before they headed back to wait.</p>
<p>     After everyone else had walked away, Dr. Greene turned to Sam, “Before we go back in there, you and I need to discuss a few things.”  For the next few minutes, Dr. Greene gave Sam a rather quick review of what to expect and what Freddie would be going through.  “Are you ready to go in?” she asked Sam.  Sam exhaled, “as ready as I’m going to be,” she responded.  Freddie found the peace pleasant, although he found himself hoping that the blonde-haired woman would come back, there was something familiar as well as strangely intoxicating to him.  When his door opened several minutes later, and Sam walked back in, Freddie smiled at her as his heart began to beat faster.  Sitting in the chair next to the bed, Sam absent-mindedly reached for his hand but stopped herself, “oh sorry,” she said, as she started to pull her hand back.  Watching as Sam pulled her hand away, produced a very unpleasant feeling in Freddie.  Reaching out he took her hand, before grabbing the pen in his left hand and writing on the tablet, “No it’s okay,” it said, before placing their clasped hands on his chest and also causing Sam to lean closer to him.</p>
<p>     Freddie couldn’t help but look at the woman next to him, and the more he looked at her, the more he felt that he knew her.  “Tell me about yourself,” he wrote next on the tablet and turned it so Sam could read it.  Sam smiled, relieved by Freddie’s reaction to all of this, from what Dr. Greene had told her about what might happen, this was by far the better outcome.  Seeing Sam smile caused a surge of happiness in Freddie which then led him to smile, what was this thing between them, Freddie wondered.  “Well, I guess I should start with the basics.  My name is Sam Benson, well it’s Samantha, but I hate that name.”  Freddie chuckled, “what’s funny?” Sam asked.  Picking up the pen, Freddie wrote down, “Samantha is a beautiful name,” and turned the pad towards Sam.  Reading the note, Sam giggled, “You are such a nub,” she said, without realizing that Freddie probably didn’t remember her pet name for him.  Freddie, for his part, felt something strange when Sam had called him a nub.  He knew for sure that she wasn’t trying to be mean, but he still could not place what he felt.</p>
<p>     Taking the pad back, Freddie wrote down another question that had been plaguing him, “Are we dating or maybe married?”  He thought that they were at least dating, otherwise why would she be here?  The thought that she was a relative had also crossed Freddie’s mind, but he quickly dismissed that thought simply because of what he felt when she left and came back into the room.  Sam read his question, “married,” she said, pulling at the chain she wore around her neck, “see,” Sam said, pointing to her wedding ring.  “I can’t wear it right now, because,” she stopped mid-sentence, not sure if telling Freddie about her pregnancy would be too much right now.  “What’s wrong?” Freddie scribbled on the pad.  Sam shook her head, “It’s nothing, just fat fingers,” she said, hoping Freddie would let it go at that.  Freddie gave her a look that she was all too familiar with, a look that said, ‘don’t try to bullshit me, Sam.’  “I don’t believe you,” he wrote on the pad.  Sam was amazed, even with his amnesia, Freddie could still read her and called her on it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam wasn’t sure what to do, she wanted to tell Freddie about their now fourth child, but Dr. Greene had cautioned her on overloading him with information.  The more Sam thought about it, the more she had come to realize that the only real knowledge that she had passed along was her name and the fact that they were married, which Freddie seemed to know anyway instinctually.  ‘Oh what the hell,’ Sam thought to herself, she stood up and raised the loose-fitting shirt she wore to just above her stomach exposing the small, but unmistakable baby belly she was sporting.  “This is why I can’t wear my wedding ring,” Sam said, running a hand over the bump.  If Sam’s revelation surprised Freddie at all, he didn’t show it Freddie seemed as if he had already known and was testing her.  Freddie picked up his hand and was about to place it on Sam’s abdomen when he stopped and looked at her as if to ask if she was okay with him putting his hand on her belly.</p>
<p>     Sam smiled, “Of course you can, after all, you did this to me,” she said with a chuckle.  Freddie gave Sam a look as if to say ‘DUH,’ before placing his hand gently on Sam’s bump and smiling.  The contact with Sam and the knowledge that this was his child seemed to jar loose something in Freddie’s head.  There was a flash of memory, it was still difficult to recall it, but it seemed to be something to do with Sam, but wasn’t sure what.  “Freddie, are you okay?” Sam asked, concerned at the jump of his hand, Freddie nodded and returned his hand to its previous position, but his head continued to feel like it was swimming.  The feeling passed as quickly as it had happened, which suited Freddie just fine as he was thoroughly enjoying the moment.</p>
<p>     That’s when the flash of memory became apparent, “I’ve done this before,” Freddie whispered.  Sam was surprised and happy, not just because Freddie had spoken, but because he remembered doing this same thing before, “Yes, you’ve done this pretty much every day when I got home once we found out I was pregnant,” Sam said, testing to see what he was remembering.  Freddie shook his head, “No, I meant,” he stopped, gasping in pain as his head suddenly began to throb.  Dr. Greene was on her way back to check on Freddie when she heard Freddie’s gasp, “Freddie, are you alright?” she asked, seemingly appearing from nowhere.  Both Sam and Freddie looked up at the doctor, Sam in surprise, Freddie in pain, Dr.Greene quickly moved to Freddie.  “Freddie, what’s going on?” Dr. Greene asked, highly concerned that her patient was holding his head, and that could be a bad thing.  The throbbing pain was almost gone now, and Freddie was not only feeling better but was now able to remember more.  “I’m fine,” Freddie said, turning once again to Sam, but Sam noted something different about her husband.</p>
<p>     The look on his face was different, and if she wasn’t mistaken, Sam thought she saw the same glint in Freddie’s eyes that he had when coming home from being away from home from a business trip.  Smiling, Sam waited until Dr. Greene finished checking Freddie and left the room, “Well, everything looks fine.  You can talk now as well, but we’ll leave the notepad and pen just in case,” she said, jotting down a few notes in Freddie’s file.  “That’s it for tonight, but if anything happens, the nurses can get a hold of me.  Sam, you as always are more than welcome to stay here, but you might want to send your friends home,” Dr. Greene said, pointing towards the waiting room, where Spencer, Adam, and Carly were waiting.  Sam noticed Freddie’s expression change, “You’re right, I’ll go let them know,” Sam said, before turning to Freddie, “I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”  Freddie nodded, though he was already wondering who these so-called friends were.</p>
<p>     True to her word, Sam had returned to his room in less than five minutes, three and a half minutes to be exact.  Yes, Freddie timed her, yes, some people might find that strange, but damn it they were married and he most certainly loved that woman.  Returning to her seat next to him, Sam was still unsure of pushing Freddie too much, too soon, but she had to be sure of what she had seen earlier.  “Do you remember anything else?” she asked as she looked into the chocolate brown eyes of the man she loved.  Freddie smiled, “Yes, I do remember something else,” he said, pointing to Sam’s belly, “it happened while my hand was on your stomach when I said I remembered doing that before.  When I said I remembered doing it previously, I meant it as if there was at least one other pregnancy besides this one.”</p>
<p>     Sam was surprised and impressed, Freddie had only been awake for a few hours, and he was talking and remembering more and more.  “Two,” Sam said, to which Freddie furrowed his brow, “Two, two what?” he asked, confused by Sam’s remark.  “I’ve been pregnant two other times,” she said, as a look of understanding crossed Freddie’s face, “So we have two other kids then?” he asked.  Sam shook her head, “No, we have three kids, a girl, and twin boys,” she paused a moment, “we don’t know if this one is a boy or girl yet,” Sam said, pointing to her belly.  “Girl,” Freddie said out of the blue, to not only Sam’s surprise but his own as well.  “So, you think we’re going to have another girl,” Sam said, as a smile made its way onto her face as she had been hoping for a girl as well.</p>
<p>     Freddie gave Sam a satisfied smile, “I do,” he paused, “not sure why though, it just popped into my head,” he continued.  The smile on Freddie’s face began to fade away, “Sam,” he said, his tone indicating that what he wanted to say next was going to be difficult for him.  Sam looked at her husband, “What’s wrong?” she asked, not sure what had caused the change in Freddie, “Our kids, what are their names?”  Freddie’s question was one that Sam had been expecting, but it still took her by surprise, “Well, the oldest is Alexis, but we call her Lexi for short, and she is six.  The twins Ethan and Evan are four.” Sam said proudly.  Freddie tried his best, but he didn’t remember any of them, which made him sad and angry at himself all at the same time; after all, he was their father, and he should remember them, shouldn’t he?</p>
<p>     “Sam, do you have any pictures of the kids?” he asked, hoping that seeing them might jog his memory.  Sam smiled as she pulled out her phone, “Of course,” she responded, pressing her pointer finger on the sensor to unlock her phone.  Working for a few seconds, Sam handed her cellphone to Freddie, “That’s Lexi,” Sam said, pointing to the young brunette-haired girl sitting next to himself.  Although he couldn’t remember her, Freddie could undoubtedly see the resemblance between himself and his daughter, with a few differences, of course.  Freddie looked up at Sam again, “What about the boys?” he asked.  Sam took the phone momentarily to scroll through several photos until she found the most recent one she had of the twins, “Here you go,” she said, placing the device back down in his hands.  Freddie looked closely at the picture, “Wow, they are identical twins aren’t they,” he said, continuing to examine the photo.  Freddie became angrier with himself, with the situation he found himself in, all he wanted right now was his life back to normal.</p>
<p>     Sam saw the change in Freddie, “Hey, don’t,” she began, but Freddie interrupted a look of melancholy etched on his face, “Sam, I, I don’t remember them,” he said, tears forming, “I don’t, I can’t,” he stammered angrily.  Sam had never seen Freddie like this, yes she had seen him angry, sad, even confused during their years together, but this was something different.  Sam could not imagine what Freddie was going through, how would she feel if circumstances were different and, Sam was the one who couldn’t remember Lexi, Ethan or Evan.  Sam placed a hand on either side of Freddie’s face, “We will get through this,” Sam said before leaning in to kiss his lips.  Freddie knew that Sam was correct, they would make it through, but Freddie was still angry with himself for not remembering his flesh and blood.</p>
<p>     Instead of dwelling on his perceived shortcomings as a father, Freddie decided to change the subject.  ”So, who are these friends that were in the waiting room?” he asked.  Sam chuckled inwardly at Freddie’s use of air quotes when he said, friends.  “Well, it was Carly, her husband Adam, and her brother Spencer,” Sam said, trying to read Freddie’s facial expressions.  Freddie attempted to recall anything about the people Sam had just named, but there was nothing.  “Nothing?” Sam asked, not seeing anything remotely like what she had seen when some of Freddie’s memories had returned previously.  Freddie just shook his head, “Not a thing, at least not about them.  I do have a question, though,” he stopped.  Freddie knew what question he wanted to ask next, but for one reason or another, he had a distinct impression that he wasn’t going to like the answer.</p>
<p>     “What about my family, mom, dad, brothers, or sisters?” he asked.  Sam had wondered if that question would come up, but she had hoped that by some chance, Freddie would have at least remembered his mother; after all, Marissa is hard to forget.  The only tough part to answer would be about his father since no one knew where the man was or if he were even still alive.  Sam exhaled, ”Well, you don’t have any brothers or sisters, and Marissa, your mother is at home with the kids,” she said, skipping over Freddie’s father for the moment.  Freddie took the information in stride, but it seemed to him that Sam hadn’t said anything about his father, “What about my dad?” Freddie asked.  Sam’s eyes darted around the room nervously, “Well, we, uh, no one knows where your dad is,” Sam said.  Freddie noticed Sam’s nervousness and wondered why she would have been uncomfortable with telling him about his dad.</p>
<p>     Freddie looked curiously at his wife, “Why did telling me about my dad bother you like that?” he asked.  Sam inhaled deeply before speaking again, “well,” Sam paused, not looking forward to what she would need to tell him, “your father has always been a sore subject for you.  You wouldn’t tell me about what happened until we had been dating a little over a year, and that included all the years we knew each other before we got together.”  Freddie genuinely looked surprised by Sam’s last statement, why would he keep something like that from Sam since they had known each other for several years before they dated.  “Why did he disappear?” Freddie asked, hurt, showing on his features.  Sam took Freddie’s hand and looked him in the eyes, “I don’t know why he left, I only know that he left when you were two years old,” she answered honestly.  “I think your mom would be better suited to answer any questions about your dad, but honestly, I don’t know if she’ll want to talk about him.  His leaving the two of you was devastating to her, and from what I have gathered, it drastically changed her personality.”</p>
<p>     Freddie tried to remember his mother, but just like the friends' Sam had spoken about earlier, Freddie could not.  What kind of person is she?  What did Sam mean by drastically changed?  Marissa must have loved Freddie’s father inordinately if his departure affected her as much as Sam indicated.  If Freddie had to guess, his father had loved Marissa enough to marry and father a child with her.  Of course, they may not have married at all, and Freddie was born out of wedlock.  Something about that last thought didn’t sit right with Freddie, though.  There were only one of two ways for Freddie to figure this issue out, either via his memories returning, or his mother.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After spending another hour talking to Sam about many different aspects of their lives together, the two yawned simultaneously. It didn't take long before they both looked at each other sheepishly. Sam didn't want to leave Freddie, but she knew the kids were waiting, and Marissa would need to be relieved. "Well," Sam said, standing and stretching, "I think you should get some rest, besides I'm sure Marissa is ready to go home, and I want to see the kids before they go to bed." Sam leaned in and kissed Freddie, "Marissa has been anxious for you to wake up, you are her little boy, after all, so I wouldn't be surprised if she came to see you in the morning," she said, smiling. Sam stood up, "bye," she said before turning to exit. "Bye, Sam," Freddie said as Sam neared the door. Sam stopped and turned back to Freddie, "How would you feel about the kids coming to see you?" Freddie was caught off guard by her question, and he wanted to see them, but how would they react if their father didn't remember them?<br/>Freddie paled at Sam's question, "um," he paused, "I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I do want to see them, and I bet they want to see me, but I don't want to risk hurting them," Freddie stopped, turning away from Sam. "What do you mean by hurt them?" Sam asked, returning to his bedside. Freddie didn't want to face Sam, not when there were tears welling in his eyes. Sam gently turned Freddie around to look at her and was shocked to see tears ready to fall at any moment. "Hey," Sam said tenderly, wiping the tears from his eyes, "are you afraid, afraid that Lexi, Ethan, and Evan might be hurt if you don't remember them?" Freddie only nodded, the truth of the matter is he was terrified by what might happen when the children realize their father doesn't remember them.<br/>Sam wiped away more tears, "Listen to me," she paused, ensuring that Freddie focused on her, "the kids know that you were hurt; they also know that because of the accident, you may have problems remembering. They don't care. All three of them ask me every night when they can come with me to see you. They just want to see you, make sure you're okay, especially Lexi." Freddie found himself comforted by Sam's little speech but still was not confident that bringing the kids was the right thing to do. "I, I just don't know," Freddie said, focusing on his wife's ice blue eyes, "do you think that's the best thing to do?" he asked. Maybe Freddie didn't trust himself; perhaps it was his mental prowess that concerned him at this moment. The traumatic brain injury was a definite cause for concern, but Freddie's instincts told him he trusted Sam implicitly. With that said, Freddie still felt it would be better to hold off on bringing the kids to the hospital to see him, at least for now.<br/>Sam considered arguing with her husband when he repeated himself regarding the children coming to see him. She thought it, but could tell by the look on his face that Freddie wasn't going to budge on this; unfortunately, the children would simply have to wait a little longer to see their father. Sam's features softened at the realization that she would not change his mind, "Okay," she said, placing an assuring hand on his shoulder, "we'll hold off on bringing them in to see you." Sam yawned once again, "I should get going, the boys and I have a routine for bedtime now, and I'm pretty positive that Lexi is going to bombard me with questions," she said, leaning in for one last kiss. Standing up once more, Sam headed towards the door, stopping just shy of exiting, "I'll be in tomorrow around lunchtime." Freddie attempted to hide his disappointment but had been unsuccessful, "I have a meeting with one of Lexi's teacher's tomorrow morning at 10:00. I'll be here afterward." A slight smile returned to Freddie's face, "I'll be waiting," he said, offering a quick wave. Sam returned the gesture before making her way out of the door and towards the elevators.<br/>Freddie's sleep was fraught with images and sounds, some of which he recognized, but the vast majority he did not. There were jumbled images of mangled cars, doctors, first responders, and a myriad of other people that, for one reason or another, Freddie's mind told him were familiar. As the images continued to cycle, they seemed to speed up, and the ones that had to do with the cars and first responders repeated more and more until they were a blur. Freddie jolted awake his eyes quickly scanned his surroundings for several seconds before his conscious mind kicked in, and he remembered where he was. Checking the clock, Freddie was startled to see that it was 2:00 AM, it had felt as if he had only been asleep a few minutes, not a few hours. After laying back down, it took Freddie several more minutes to get comfortable enough even to attempt to sleep again.<br/>The next thing Freddie knew the sound of his door opening awakened him. Slowly opening his eyes, Freddie, temporarily blinded by the intense sunlight entering through his window, had to block his eyes so they could adjust. When his eyes finally adjusted, Freddie looked around, hoping that it was Sam who had come in, but all he could see was someone with shoulder-length brown hair. It had to be his mother, oh what was her name again, Marissa, that was it. Sam had told him that Marissa would likely come to see him, "Hello," he called out. Hearing his voice, Marissa froze for a moment before turning around to face her son, "Oh, my little Freddiekins," she said, taking a few steps towards him. Two things struck Freddie immediately about this woman, the first being her use of an unusually juvenile nickname for him. The second, although he did see the resemblance between himself and Marissa, he did not remember her. Marissa stepped closer to him, "Sam told me that your memory had been affected," she paused, wanting to ask the question that had plagued her since Sam told her that Freddie had come out of the coma.<br/>"Freddie, do you," Marissa stopped, the fear of her son's answer threatening to keep her from asking the question. "Do you," Marissa tried once more only to have her voice fail for a second time. Freddie kept quiet, this woman might well be his mother, but there was something about her that rubbed him the wrong way. There were so many things that Marissa wanted to say, to ask her son, but it all seemed too difficult for Marissa. Mother and son sat for several minutes in an uneasy silence before Marissa finally spoke, "Freddie, do you remember me, at all?" she asked. Searching her face, Freddie did his best to find something, anything familiar with Marissa but failed. Seeing the look on his face, coupled with the fact that he hadn't answered confirmed Marissa's worst fear, Freddie didn't remember. The defeated look on Marissa's face didn't bother Freddie as much as he thought it would, shouldn't seeing that look on her face wound him deeper?<br/>Being a nurse, Marissa had seen others deal with amnesia patients, but going through it herself made it crystal clear just how difficult it could be. Mother and son spent the next half hour talking, though technically, Marissa did all the talking while Freddie sat and listened. Nothing she tried appeared to work, there was no semblance of recognition in his eyes or on his face, Marissa knew that today at least was a lost cause. Glancing at the watch on her wrist, Marissa still had a few more hours before starting work, but there was no reason to stay here. As much as she loved her son, there was nothing to gain at this time, "Well, there are some things I need to take care before work," Marissa commented, gathering her things before stopping next to the bed. "I'm sorry if I wasted your time," Marissa said, turning to leave. Just as she opened the door, Freddie spoke up, "It wasn't a waste of time. I may not remember you right now, but you never know what will jostle something up here," he said, smiling, pointing to his head. Stepping back to his bed, Marissa took Freddie's hand and squeezed it reassuringly, "Listen, I have twelve-hour shifts for the next three days, but I'll do my best to stop by before Friday, okay?" Freddie nodded, "okay," though there was still a part of him that didn't want her to come back.<br/>Shortly after his mom left, Freddie looked at the clock, "Chiz, it's only 8:15 in the morning? That woman must be an early bird," he thought to himself. "Oh well, breakfast should be arriving any ti," his thoughts interrupted by a knock on the door, "come in," Freddie called out. The door swung in, admitting a young lady carrying a tray on her right shoulder, "Ready for breakfast, Mr. Benson?" she asked, the cheeriness almost too much for Freddie. "Yes, I am," Freddie said, offering a half sincere smile, he was hungry, but the food here was just okay, and that was being generous. Setting the tray down in front of Freddie, the young woman removed the lid, revealing what had come to be his regular breakfast since waking up here. The eggs were bland; the toast was soggy, the fruit was always somewhat bitter, and to be honest, the bacon tasted old. Of course, Freddie ate it since there were no other options available to him right now but damned if he didn't want some decent food.<br/>After finishing his lackluster breakfast, Freddie made his way into the bathroom to take care of business and clean up. While washing his hands, Freddie glanced in the mirror, "I need to shave," he said, running a hand through the scraggly looking growth. Freddie grabbed the toothpaste and toothbrush he had brought in and proceeded to brush his teeth, 'at least I can brush my teeth,' he thought to himself. Returning to his bed, Freddie made a mental note to ask Sam to bring him a razor from home. Turning on the TV, Freddie started flipping through the available channels, but nothing struck him as something he'd want to watch. On the SyFy channel was something Freddie recognized instantly, 'Galaxy Wars,' Freddie said, a smile gracing his face. Losing track of time, Freddie was surprised when he heard Sam's voice, "Hey," she called, closing the door before walking around the curtain partially closed to provide privacy from anyone that might be walking down the hall.<br/>Turning the corner, Sam found her husband completely engrossed by something on the TV, "What ya watching?" she asked as she set her belongings down. There was no need for Sam to guess; the dialogue and sound effects were a dead give away, "Galaxy Wars, huh?" she asked, leaning in for a kiss hello. "Did your mom come by to see you?" Sam asked, surprised that Marissa wasn't still there. Turning off the TV so he wouldn't be distracted, Freddie turned to his wife, "Yes, she did come to see, but I didn't remember her. She was here about an hour before she realized that I wasn't going to remember her, plus she had some errands to run before work." That last piece surprised Sam because when she spoke with Marissa yesterday, there was nothing else Marissa had to do.<br/>Sam sat down in her usual spot next to the bed, "So, do you remember anything else?" she asked, cautiously optimistic. Freddie shook his head, "No, and I've been trying, but it just doesn't seem to be helping," he said, slightly frustrated. Sam opened her mouth to respond when her phone began to ring. Pulling her phone out, Sam quickly verified that it was Melanie calling. "Do you need to answer that?" Freddie asked, "nope, I'll call them back later," Sam responded as she activated the response with text feature. Mere moments later, Melanie received a text from Sam indicating that she would call her back. Sam was about to speak when there was a knock at the door, "Come in," Freddie called out. His nurse for the day stepped into view, "Hello Freddie, how are you doing?" she asked, flipping through his chart. Freddie recited what had become his standard response for that particular question, "I'm fine, no pain, but I don't remember anything more." The nurse nodded as she recorded his response, "I know you've heard this a lot, but it can take a long time for memories to return. Dr. Greene has asked us to run a few quick tests." Freddie nodded his approval as Sam stood up, "I'm going to step out and make a quick call. I'll be back after they finish." Freddie nodded once more, and Sam exited the room phone already in her hand.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam habitually tapped her foot on the hospital floor as she stood just outside Freddie’s room with her phone to her ear. She had stepped out for a second as Freddie was having one of his routine checkups by one of Dr. Greene’s assistants. “He’s getting there, slowly but surely,” Sam said into the phone.  “He hasn’t regained a lot of his memories yet, but he at least remembers me, and I can see the cogs turning in his nubby head whenever we do mention any of our friends or family,” she continued. “That’s so great to hear!” Melanie replied on the other end of the phone. Complex as Sam’s relationship with Melanie may have been, they were still sisters, and they always looked out for one another. If she could’ve, Melanie would have been right beside her sister in a heartbeat to support her in the wake of this accident, but several states and thousands of miles separated them nowadays.  Melanie had moved to Chicago years ago for college and ultimately settled down there later on. “Has he seen the kids at all?” Melanie continued. “Just pictures,” Sam replied, “he’s reluctant to see them in person because he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings if he can't remember them,” she paused, “but he will,” she confidently added.<br/>	As their conversation continued for several more minutes, one of the hospital workers passing by in the hallway stopped and politely garnered Sam’s attention, “Excuse me, ma’am,” to which Sam pulled the phone away from her ear. “I don’t mean to bother you, but cell phones can cause electromagnetic interference with some equipment in here,” the worker explained. It annoyed Sam for a split second, and she thought about pointing out the security guard at the end of the hall, buried in his cell phone while leaning up against the wall, but relented; she knew this worker was being polite and meant no harm. “Sorry, I’ll turn it off in a second,” she assured the worker, “Hey Melanie, I can’t stay on the phone while I’m in the hospital, it messes the signals of the equipment or some chiz,” she told her sister. “That’s alright, you can call me later if you want, I’ll be here,” Melanie said. “Alright, talk to ya later,” Sam said, hanging up the phone.<br/>	As she walked back into the room, Freddie said to her, “Ya know, that checkup took a couple of extra minutes because the machines in here weren’t functioning properly.” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “They said it had something to do with cell phone interference or something, I don’t know,” he shrugged. Realizing the dork was attempting to flirt with her for the first time since waking up from the coma, she held back a chuckle as she bit her lip, he must’ve heard her conversation out in the hall. “Glad to see you’re getting your wit back,” she sat next to him in her usual spot, “but there’s another thing you’ll soon remember…” Freddie then looked at her with a cute suspicion in his face, “Oh yeah? What’s that?” he asked. “That mama always wins,” she smirked. He wasn’t sure why, but that struck a chord with him like he had heard it before, and he couldn’t help but smirk himself in response.<br/>	“Who were you talking to on the phone?” Freddie curiously asked. Sam initially hesitated to tell him, afraid that throwing more names at him would just fog his memory instead of helping it. “Don’t worry,” he interrupted her in her evident hesitation to speak, “you can tell me,” he assured her. Sam smiled at his willingness to at least try to remember whatever he could. “Melanie,” she blurted out, just her name, nothing else. Freddie’s brow furrowed as he looked at Sam like those cogs in his head that she had mentioned earlier were turning again. Sam patiently waited to see what his response would be, and his silence loomed over the room. After several more seconds passed, Freddie ultimately shook his head no and disappointedly turned away from Sam. Perhaps Sam was right about throwing another name at him, as it seemingly only served to confuse him. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” she grabbed his hand, “this isn’t a race. We’ll get there.” <br/>Suddenly, she could see his body tremble, worry striking her as she began to feel his hand shaking in hers.  Even with Freddie’s face still turned away from her, it was clear to her that he was crying. “I think you might’ve gotten a little ahead of yourself,” she said, her voice soft as she caressed his hand with her own, “but it’s okay, don’t sweat it.” As she continued to try to comfort him, something seemed off. She could still feel the subtle vibrations she felt a minute ago, but she heard no sniffling or any sounds that you would associate with crying. “Freddie?” she said with slight concern, but he did not respond. “Freddie!” she stood up from her chair and leaned over the bed in a panic to check on him, but upon seeing his face that he had been hiding from her, she found out that he had been laughing the entire time.  Turning back to face her, he burst out in laughter as she grasped at her chest. <br/>“What the heck?! Don’t do that!” she gently shoved him in the arm. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” he replied as his laughter simmered. “You pull any more chiz like that, and you’re gonna put me in the damn hospital too!” she told him, “and I hate it here, so please, let’s not do that,” she continued. “Okay, okay, sorry,” he said, still smirking at his antics. “What the heck is so funny anyway?” she asked him. “Melanie,” he replied, to which Sam looked at him, confused, “Wait, do you seriously remember her?” she asked. “I guess you could say that,” he acknowledged as he shrugged. “And what does that mean?” she pursued his ambiguous statement. Staring back at Sam for a few more seconds, Freddie said, “I kissed her,” to which Sam’s eyes widened, “well, she kissed me,” he corrected himself. “Wow, so that’s the memory you chose to remember, huh?” Sam replied sarcastically, slouching back into her chair and crossing her arms. <br/>Freddie was still chuckling to himself, attempting to hide it from Sam but to no avail. “Do you realize that you are being the biggest dork right now,” she said, looking away from him, “even if that memory did come back to you, why bring that up? I don’t wanna hear that.” After finally settling down from his continual laughter, he spoke again, “I remember it, but I remember thinking she was you,” he explained, to which Sam turned back to him. “I don’t recall too much about Melanie, honestly,” he continued, “but as soon as I heard you say her name in the hallway, I remembered that particularly.” Leaning forward in her chair, she rested her forearms onto her knees, “Well, that’s still not much better,” she snarled at him. “I remember you, and she’s your twin sister,” he said, “so I guess it was easier for that memory to come back,” he shrugged again, to which Sam cracked a small smile.  “I didn’t even think she was real since I thought she was you when that happened anyway,” he continued. Standing up from her chair again, Sam leaned over him on the bed and kissed him. Pulling her lips away, she told him, “You can stop there. I get it,” and Freddie smiled, “but if that’s your idea of trying to be romantic, you can forget what I said about getting your ‘wit’ back you nub,” she smiled back, taking a seat once again and grabbing his hand again.<br/>	As he laid in bed with Sam’s hand still holding his own, Freddie piped up again, “Hey, can I ask you something else?” Sam shot him a playfully hesitant look, still reeling from his previous antics. “Don’t worry, I’m not scheming any jokes this time,” he chuckled, and she chuckled back. “Okay, then, what’s up?” she asked. “While you were out in the hallway, the nurse doing my checkup mentioned something interesting to me,” he said, to which Sam replied, “And what was that?” With a confused look on his face, Freddie said, “she told me she used to be an immense ‘Seddier’ when she was a teenager.” Sam chuckled under her breath in response. “I didn’t understand what she was talking about, but she kept mentioning something called ‘iCarly,’” he explained. “Yeah, every once in awhile, I still get that from people too,” she nodded bluntly. “But what is it?” Freddie pursued. “This might sound crazy, but we used to be webstars,” Sam explained, to which Freddie seemed taken aback. “Webstars?” he said in a confused tone. “Yep,” Sam confirmed, “we did a show called iCarly, and to borrow a current phrase, it went viral. It’s kinda surreal when I think back on it,” she continued. “So, we were like, famous?” he asked, and Sam nodded, “Somewhat.” Leaning his head back on his pillow, Freddie was astonished to hear of his former web show notoriety.<br/>	“So, what’s a Seddier then?” he asked, which gained another chuckle from Sam. “Please stop saying that,” she jokingly shook her head disapprovingly. “Is it a bad thing?” he asked in response to her apparent cringe-filled reactions to the word ‘Seddie’ every time he spoke it. “No,” she was still chuckling, “it just sounds so ridiculous.” Freddie couldn’t help but start to laugh himself. Even though he was utterly lost, Sam’s reactions alone had him cracking little smiles every few seconds. “So what is it?” he asked once more. “Well,” Sam paused, preparing to explain the wackiness that was their adolescence, and the sometimes, comical nature of some of their super old super-fans, “A ‘Seddier’ was an iCarly fan that ‘shipped’ us romantically.” Still utterly lost, Freddie replied, “shipped?” in a confused tone. “Some wacky phrase super-fans use as, like, uh, a synonym for relationship or something,” she elaborated.  Freddie nodded as a light bulb in the back of his mind began to flicker. “Seddier,” he uttered again, tilting his head, “Sam, Freddie?” he continued. “Congratulations brainiac, you figured it out,” she joked. “Hmmm, that is ridiculous,” he laughed.<br/>	“So, that was before we dated then?” he assumed. “Yeah, sort of,” Sam nodded, “I mean, we ended up dating for a bit while the show was a thing, which drove the ‘Creddiers’ freaking insane.” Freddie’s brow furrowed in confusion again, “Creddiers? Okay, you lost me again,” he said. “Not everyone wanted us to be an item,” Sam said candidly. There must’ve been someone else on the show involved in all of this craziness, Freddie thought as Sam said that. The gears in his head were turning once more, and before Sam could explain any further, Freddie blurted out, “Carly and Freddie?” which took Sam by surprise. “How did you guess that?!” she quickly responded, excited that some more of his memory might’ve come back. Of course, there was the slightest bit of jealousy in her response, too; she couldn’t help it. “Wish I could say I just had this amazing jolt of memory, but I didn’t,” Freddie told her, “I just guessed the name Carly because you said the show was called iCarly.” Sitting back in her chair, she replied, “oh, darn.” Teenage love triangles aside, she had sincerely hoped he might’ve remembered something from back then, there was no denying how big a part of their lives that all was.<br/>	“You mentioned a Carly before, though, recently. Didn’t you say she was one of our friends?” Freddie asked. “Yeah, she’s our best friend, and we used to do the show with her,” Sam told him, “we were inseparable.” Hearing that sort of bummed Freddie out, how could he not remember someone who they had been so extremely close?  “We still are, too,” Sam added, grabbing Freddie’s hand once more, assuring him that his current lack of memory didn’t cancel out years of friendship. “Just to prove that we are still close, Carly was the first person I went to when all this happened with you, and she was right there to support us.” Even though he couldn’t put a face to the name, Freddie smiled upon hearing Sam tell him about their friend. Still wishing he could remember anything about this time Sam was talking about, Freddie pressed forward, “I’m curious about our show,” he said, “maybe if I see something from it’ll jog something for me.”<br/>	“I’m not supposed to have my phone on in here, remember?” Sam reminded him. “I won’t tell,” he nudged her arm playfully to persuade her, she smirked. Figuring at the very least it could give them a good laugh even if he didn’t remember anything, Sam obliged. Whipping her phone out again, she turned it back on and visited the old iCarly website. It had been so long since Sam had last logged on, and the nostalgia immediately hit her. It was almost surprising to Sam that all of the archives were still there; not that anyone other than Freddie would've been able to delete them, except maybe for that Nevel kid that always swore "those ‘iCarly's’ would ‘rue the day’" anytime they got one over on him. “What’re you grinning at?” Freddie asked as he noticed Sam starting to get lost in her phone. “Oh, sorry,” she snapped back into reality, “I just haven’t been on the website in so long, I just got a rush of nostalgia,” she said. “Hopefully, I get that same feeling,” Freddie commented.<br/>            	The archived webcasts and videos were endless, and Sam had no idea where even to start. “We did so many shows; I don’t even know what I’m about to see if I click one of these,” she said, “I’m just gonna pick a random clip.” Freddie nodded fervently, just curious to see anything from this whacky past of his. Sam queued up the video and pulled her chair closer to Freddie’s bedside so they could watch together. Freddie watched intently as the clip started with two girls, one who he recognized instantly as the blonde beauty sitting right beside him, and another dark-haired girl, who had to be Carly, he thought. Oddly enough, the clip was of them feeding ‘baby Spencer’ grotesque amounts of salsa, and Freddie wasn’t quite sure what the hell this was. “Was the show always this weird?” he asked. “Uh-huh,” Sam nodded bluntly, “but people loved it.” It was weird, but it undoubtedly entertaining, Freddie thought.<br/>            	As the video continued, he once again noticed Sam’s cringe-filled reactions. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Everything,” she replied, “what the heck am I wearing?” she proceeded to grill her teenage-self for her horrid fashion sense, “I look like a complete idiot.” Freddie laughed, “You were still cute, though,” he commented. “Whatever you say,” she jokingly brushed it off. “So where am I?” he asked, and Sam explained, “Behind the camera.” That statement did jog something for Freddie, but he couldn’t quite tap into what it was. Freddie refrained from pursuing the memory further as he was now curious as to how he could become a web star if he were only a camera guy.  It was like Sam had read his mind when she began to explain that although he was primarily the technical producer, Freddie had recurring spots on the show, which earned him quite the following.<br/>As they both averted their attention back to the video once more, some random girl they had on as a guest had just finished breaking a wooden board for some reason, and what followed was a quintessential old-school ‘Seddie’ interaction. “Do you wanna break something else?” Carly asked the girl in the video, prompting the following remark from teenaged-Sam, “like Freddie’s arm, Freddie’s leg, or Freddie’s face?” Sam awkwardly side-eyed him as she listened to her younger self. “Aw, Sam, if you’re in love with me, just say so,” Freddie in the video said from behind the camera, and the two went off into a little bickering spat. “Took me a while, but I eventually said so,” she cutely said to him as the video continued playing. He chuckled, “We were always like,” he said. “Yeah, it’s kind of our thing ya know…” but just as she said that she backtracked, “Wait?! ‘We were always?’” she quoted him.<br/>“Carly practically had to counsel us into getting along,” he continued. “Did this?!” Sam started to say, but was interrupted by Freddie nodding, “Mhmm.” Something clicked for him as the iCarly clip played. “What do you remember?!” Sam asked excitedly. “A couple of things just came to me,” he said, which heightened Sam’s excitement even further. “What?! What?!” she asked. “Well, seeing us bicker right there reminded me of kissing you on a fire escape,” he said, and Sam’s heart skipped a beat. “That was our first, wasn’t it?” he asked. She shyly nodded with a smile, and a slight blush came across her face. “That’s a whole lot better than telling me about my sister, you dork,” she playfully jabbed him in the arm. “Anything else?” she curiously asked. “Yeah,” he nodded, “that’s where Carly used to live. I remember the studio somewhat, and how I had my equipment set up in there. That came to me when you told me about how I would produce the show.” Sam was thrilled to hear Freddie remember these few things. “Anything else?” she asked once more, full of hope. “I’m still pretty foggy, but I at least recognized Carly’s face, and as I said, I remembered her trying to counsel us into getting along, but I can’t remember many specifics about her beyond that.”<br/>Sam nodded as Freddie ran down the few memories that had returned to him; it was only so much, but she was still happy with the progress. “Do you mind?” Freddie said, reaching out to her phone. “No, go ahead,” Sam allowed him to take it from her grasp. Still curious, Freddie began sifting through more of the iCarly archives. “I don’t know how much more I’ll remember, but that last clip was pretty entertaining,” he said, “I think I’ll watch a few more just for the hell of it.” Sam raised an eyebrow, “I know one that might spark your interest,” she told him with a smirk, “let me show you the one we did from a mental hospital.” Freddie grimaced in confusion, “Mental hospital?” he said. “Trust me; you’ll like it,” she smiled, leaning over the bed to help him find that clip.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. iRemember C8</h2></a>
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    <p>After watching the clip that Sam had suggested, Freddie did like it, but was slightly confused, why had Sam felt that she was insane to like him?  They ended up together in the end but watching the clip brought out insecurity in Freddie.  Was he not her first choice?  Was there someone else that she wanted?  Had Sam settled for him?  Freddie didn’t like the questions or the feeling that the clip had brought out and tried to move past them, but Sam had already noticed the change in him.  “What’s wrong, babe?” she asked, concerned by the sullen look on his face.  “It’s nothing,” he responded, handing the phone back to her.  Sam didn’t buy it, something was bothering him, and he didn’t want to or was too afraid to talk about it.  Just as she was going to push the issue with Freddie, it hit her, ‘good one Benson,’ she thought to herself.</p>
<p>     Damn it, why hadn’t she thought about that?  Sam had just shown her amnesiac husband what was probably the worst clip she could have chosen.  He didn’t remember anything from back then, at least not now, and Sam showed him a clip where she thought she was crazy for having feelings for him.  Holy chiz, how could she have been so stupid?  “Freddie, I,” she began, not sure how to continue, “I, I wanted to show you how we first got together.”  Gathering her remaining thoughts, “I didn’t think,” was all she got out before he placed his hand up, stopping her.  “It’s not your fault Sam.  I know you had nothing but the best of intentions in showing me that,” he said, giving her a quick smile.  Sam attempted to speak, but Freddie stopped her once more, “I know there is a lot I still don’t remember, and if I did, then I likely wouldn’t have to ask this question.”</p>
<p>     Sam had a pretty good idea what the question would be, so she sat there, waiting for Freddie to pose it.  “Why did you feel the need to check into a mental hospital?  Why was having feelings for me such a terrible thing?” he asked, sadness and confusion marking his face.  Sam tentatively moved a hand towards his face, afraid he might turn away from her touch and was somewhat relieved when he didn’t.  “Was I that bad?” he asked suddenly, prompting a strange look from Sam.  “What?” she asked, confusion setting in more than before, “Was I that bad?” he repeated, “I’d have to guess that I must have been a…” was as far as he got when he was cut off by Sam’s lips crashing into his.  Moments later, Sam’s tear-filled eyes looked into Freddie’s, “You weren’t. It was never you, Freddie.”  Wiping the tears away, she continued, “back then things were different, I was different.”</p>
<p>     Sam continued her story, “We’ve known each other for a long time, but for the first couple of years, well, let’s just say that neither of us wanted to be around the other.”  Given how much he loved Sam, Freddie found it surprising that there was a time they weren’t friends.  “Sam, I,” but she cut him off, “please let me finish,” Freddie nodded, uncertain if that was a statement or a request.  “When we met, you had something fierce for Carly, and that did not sit well with me.” Freddie took notice of and was concerned by Sam’s body language, but she wanted to finish, and he would let her.  “My family was not one to be envied; my mother was an alcoholic, my sister an annoying pain in my ass, and my father was,” “was gone,” Freddie finished for her.  For a few moments, Sam didn’t think anything of his finishing of her sentence; they had done similar things before, but then it struck her, “Wait, you remember that?” she asked excitedly.</p>
<p>     Freddie nodded, “That’s not the only thing I remember either,” a slight smile creeping back on to his face.  “What else do you remember?” Sam asked hesitantly.  “I remember more about us, as well as more about myself,” Freddie responded, the tiny grin disappearing, “I still don’t remember anything about the kids or anyone else for that matter, but I think I’m ready to go home.”  Now Sam was smiling, “You want to go home?  I thought you didn’t want the kids to see you until your memory returned?”  Repositioning himself in bed, Freddie looked into his wife’s eyes, and now he knew this was the right thing to do, “You’re right, at first I didn’t want to, but then I realized that I was a coward.”  For the second time in less than ten minutes, Sam was perplexed, “What do you mean you were a coward?”  Sighing, Freddie explained, “At first, I didn’t want to see the kids because I thought that it might hurt them.  I thought I would be keeping them from unnecessary pain.  In truth, I was trying to protect myself; I didn’t want to think of myself as a bad father.”</p>
<p>     Freddie could see the question on Sam’s face, “it was you,” he responded to her unspoken question.  “Me?” Sam asked, unsure of what she had done to bring on this change.  “Yes, everything I’ve been able to remember happened because of you.  The videos, your call to Melanie, and what you just told me they all triggered something in my putzed up mind.  All of that has shown me that I need to stop hiding behind my condition and do something about it.”  Sam was speechless, which Freddie took advantage of, “I noticed a change when you told me about my ‘thing’ for Carly,” he paused several seconds, “I don’t know if I’ve ever said this before, but I’m sorry for hurting you.”  He wholeheartedly meant it, and something was telling him that she needed to hear it.</p>
<p>     Watching her posture return to its previous state relieved Freddie more than he expected.  “Oh, Freddie,” Sam replied, stunned by what she heard, “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, and I think I always did, it was just that I always felt second best next to Carly.  Even when we started dating, I still felt that way, and I was terrified that you were using me to make Carly jealous and would end up going back to chasing her.”  Freddie took Sam’s hand, “That is all in the past now, Sam,” he said, pulling her in for a kiss.  The moment their lips touched, Freddie felt electricity between them, and he loved it, his only question was why he hadn’t experienced it before?  They had kissed many times since waking up, and while he had enjoyed every kiss with Sam, for some reason, this time was different.  That electricity, however, was interrupted several minutes later due to a knock on the door, which caused them to separate as they had when they were dating, and Marissa would come into the room.</p>
<p>     “Come in,” Freddie said, clearing his throat.  Dr. Greene stepped into the room, a wide grin on her face, “Freddie, I have good news,” she began, glancing up from her clipboard and seeing both of them, “oh, hello Sam, I’m glad you’re here,” she said, extending her hand to Sam.  Sam shook the doctor’s hand, “Hello Dr. Greene; you said you had good news for us?”  Dr. Greene nodded, shaking Freddie’s hand as well, “ I certainly do,” she replied, pulling several papers from Freddie’s chart.  “These,” Dr. Greene said, waving a stack of paper in the air, “are the results from your last batch of tests.  All of your physical injuries, including your brain, have healed plus your blood work, and bodily functions all look good.”  All of this was fantastic news, but Sam voiced the question on both their minds first.  “If his brain has healed, why hasn’t he regained more of his memories?”  Dr. Greene smiled sincerely at Sam, “That’s an excellent question, Sam, and to be honest, I can’t answer it.”</p>
<p>     Sam’s expression skewed, “The human brain is an amazingly complex organ,” Dr. Greene continued, “we’ve come a long way in knowing how it works, but there are still things we continue not to understand.  There is no physical damage to Freddie’s brain, which, based on my previous experiences, means his memories should return.  Unfortunately, there is no way to estimate when or if that may happen, but the best thing for that would be a return to as regular a life as possible.”  Sam glanced over at her husband, who seemed to be taking everything in stride, which did not surprise Sam in the least, as they had both come to respect Dr. Greene’s opinions.  There was only one other question on Sam’s mind, “So, does this mean Freddie can go home?” she asked, excitement peppering her voice.  “He still needs to be cleared by a few departments, but at this point, I would say it should be two or three days at most,” Dr. Greene replied.</p>
<p>     It was good news to be sure, but Sam found herself disappointed that she couldn’t take him home then and there.  The kids missed him, and hell she did too, Sam hated sleeping in their bed alone.  Sam could take solace in one thing; however, tonight, when she arrived home, and all three of them bombarded her with ‘when is daddy coming home?’ her answer wouldn’t need to be, ‘I’m not sure.’  Since Marissa was watching Ethan, Evan, and Lexi, Sam messaged her first, ‘I have good news, will fill you in when I get home.’  Marissa must have had the phone in her hand because she responded almost immediately, ‘Can’t wait to hear what it is, see you when you get home.’  A smile graced Sam’s face as images of Marissa jumping up and down excitedly played in her head.  “What are you smiling about?” Freddie asked, wanting to know what was funny, “nothing,” Sam responded quickly, returning to her phone to text Carly and Melanie.</p>
<p>     Freddie decided not to push, mainly because he found himself excited, knowing he would be going home soon.  Watching Sam typing away on her phone, Freddie was beginning to realize just how lucky he was to have her in his life.  He still couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something about Sam that just made him feel, well, like he has a purpose.  After finishing, Sam looked up to find Freddie sporting a grin that she had not seen since all this madness began, and damn did she miss it.  “I’m so glad that you’ll be coming home,” Sam said, returning to the bedside.  “It’s felt like forever since we slept in the same room, let alone the same bed,” offering a sly smile.  Freddie couldn’t help but smile, and ever since more of his memories of Sam returned, he found himself having similar thoughts.  The thought of being with Sam, without interruptions from doctors or nurses, was exciting to Freddie.</p>
<p>     “I am too, and it will be nice to sleep in something other than a hospital bed.  I hope Dr. Greene is right, and it’s just one or two more days before I can leave because the more I think about going home, the more anxious I am to get out of here.”  The next few hours, filled with small talk and their regular banter, passed by quickly, and all too soon it was time for Sam to leave.  “I need to head home,” Sam said as she stood and stretched, “gotta get back before your mother leaves for work.”  Sam mentally verified that she had everything as she made her way to Freddie’s side and leaned in to kiss him goodbye, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” kissing him once more.  “Bye,” he responded, but his tone did not denote any kind of excitement for his pending release.  Sam tilted his head up, so they were looking into each other’s eyes, “Hey, I bet the next couple of days will fly by and before you know it you’ll be back home where you belong.”  </p>
<p>     Both Benson’s smiled, “I have got to go,” Sam said, looking at the time.  Sam’s seeming rush to leave sent a feeling of dread up Freddie’s spine, “okay, but do me a favor and be careful out there.”  Sam wasn’t sure if she was hearing things, or did Freddie’s voice waver just slightly when he asked her to be careful.  Sam said nothing about it, “I will,” she responded with a reassuring smile before starting for the door.  “I love you, Sam,” Freddie called just as she opened the door, “I love you too, nub,” Sam replied, stepping out of the room.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It turned out that Dr. Greene’s time estimate was correct, and two days later, Freddie sat in his room waiting for transport to take him downstairs.  Sam had already gone to move the car around to the main entrance.  She had taken the discharge papers and his belongings with her so that they didn’t need to make other trips to the room.  Freddie turned, hearing the door creak open and was surprised to see Dr. Greene step through, “Dr. Greene,” he said, surprised to see her.  “I’m just here to wish you luck,” she said, noticing his shocked expression and tone of voice.  The doctor looked around the room for Sam, “Is Sam waiting for you downstairs?”  Freddie nodded, “just waiting for transport to get here so that I can get out of here,” he said with a light snicker.</p>
<p>     “Would you pass something on to Sam for me?”  Freddie nodded once more, “I’m sure you probably know this about her already, Mr. Benson, but Sam is a strong person.  Hell, she’s probably one of the strongest women I’ve ever met,” Dr. Greene paused as if she were looking for the best way to continue.  “Even with all her strength, Sam might need someone to talk to, and while I know that she has you, if she ever needs someone else to talk to, let her know she can reach out to me at any time.”  Freddie was surprised; he had never known a doctor to make themselves available like that to a patient or their family.  “Of course,” he said, extending his hand to her, “and thank you for everything you did for me,” he continued, shaking her hand one last time.  Releasing her hand, Freddie found one of Dr. Greene’s business cards with a handwritten note and phone number on it.  “Well, I should get back to my rounds. Goodbye, Mr. Benson,” and with one last nod, she left the room.</p>
<p>     It was only a couple of minutes after Dr. Greene left that the orderly arrived and took Freddie downstairs to freedom.  Once Freddie was safely ensconced in their car, Sam put it into gear and pulled away from the hospital for the last time.  Well, the last time until she would be back for the birth of their fourth child.  “So, how does it feel to be on your way home?” Sam asked, exiting the parking lot.  “Fine,” Freddie responded curtly, “Just fine?” Sam asked, startled by his response.  Glancing briefly at Sam, “It’s good,” he replied, turning to stare out the passenger side window once more.  Sam was beginning to feel that Freddie wasn’t as ready to go home, as he previously led her to believe.  “You know, the kids are looking forward to seeing you,” Sam informed him, trying to elicit a more appropriate response from him.  Freddie wanted to feel exhilarated that he was coming home and seeing Lexi, Ethan, and Evan; instead, he found himself terrified at the thought.  The fact that he still didn’t remember them weighed heavily on him, and the feeling of failure returned.</p>
<p>     “Oh, I almost forgot,” Freddie began, pulling Dr. Greene’s business card from his shirt pocket, “Dr. Greene asked me to give this to you and if you ever need to talk to her, just call.”  The fact that Freddie even attempted to change the topic surprised Sam; the fact that he continued to stare out his window surprised her even more.  “Okay, that’s it,” Sam said, engaging the turn signal to move into the breakdown lane of the highway.  Once they were safely on the side of the road, Sam shut off the car and turned to face Freddie.  “Okay, what the hell is going on with you?  I thought you’d be a little more excited about coming home.”  Freddie didn’t look at Sam, “I am, it’s just that,” he stopped, unsure how or if to continue.  The look of annoyance that Sam had worn previously morphed into concern, “It’s just what?” she asked, nudging him to keep going.  Turning to face her, Sam was surprised to see tears forming in Freddie’s eyes, “I thought I was ready for this, to see the kids, but now that it’s happening,” he trailed off.</p>
<p>     “Now that it’s happening, you’re afraid again that you’ll hurt them,” finishing his thought.  Freddie nodded in agreement but remained silent.  Although Sam could understand his fear, she was still angry with him, why hadn’t he said something before now?  “Freddie, I feel for you, but I have three kids at home, with one on the way,” she said, pointing to her abdomen for effect, “I don’t need a fifth one.”  The last part caused Freddie to stiffen up, “If you didn’t think you would be comfortable with coming home to everyone, then you could have, no, you should have said something earlier.  If you had, then maybe we could have set something up with your mom to stay with her or found some temporary facility.”  Sam took a moment to search the chocolate brown eyes looking back at her, and the fear radiating from them still shocked her.  There was one last thing that Sam did not want to say but knew she needed too, “Listen up nub, if you can’t be a man and face your fears about Lexi, Ethan, and Evan, then I need to know right now.  I need my husband back, but more than that, the kids need their father, and I think you need them just as much, if not more.”</p>
<p>     Searching his eyes once more, Sam thought she could see a glimmer of something, but what it was she couldn’t tell.  “I want you to think about this before you answer, okay?  Freddie still stiff as a board nodded his understanding, “Okay if you’re still having issues with going home, tell me now so I can call your mom to see if she can put you up for at least tonight.”  Something told Freddie that she was right, Sam needed him to be there for all of them, not just for himself.  He was as responsible for the kids as Sam was, and the fact that Sam had to deal with everything that happened to him and take care of their family, well, it wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t fair to Sam or the kids, and that’s when Freddie knew what to do, he turned to face Sam, “Let’s go home,” he said, relaxing just a little in the seat.  Sam let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, relieved by his decision, “besides, there is still something about ‘my mother’ that rubs me the wrong way,” Freddie added.  Starting the car, Sam couldn’t help but wonder what it was explicitly about Marissa that rubbed Freddie wrong, especially since they were always so close before the accident.</p>
<p>     They were about fifteen minutes from home when Sam pulled back on to the road, but she did her best to keep an eye on Freddie, she didn’t think he would change his mind, but one never knows.  The remainder of the trip was silent, and while it wasn’t a comfortable silence, it wasn’t wholly uncomfortable either for which Sam was exceedingly grateful.  Pulling up to their home, Freddie was surprised to see several cars parked in the immediate area, “Please tell me that all these vehicles belong to our neighbors,” Freddie asked, not wanting to deal with any gathering.  “Damn it, Carly,” Sam cursed under her breath, “Did you say something, Sam?” Freddie asked.  “Not yet, but give me a few minutes, and I might be yelling something,” Sam said, grabbing her phone to text Carly to find out just what the hell she was thinking.  Carly responded much quicker than Sam anticipated, “It’s only our closest friends, Marissa, Spencer, Sasha, and the children.”  It took all of Sam’s control not to go inside and yell at Carly; instead, Sam sent back her response, “I told you that there was to be NO ONE here when Freddie came home.  I didn’t want to overwhelm him.”</p>
<p>     It took Carly almost a full minute to respond this time, “Do you want me to have them leave?”  Had they been in the same room, Sam would have looked at Carly like she had two heads, ‘no chizz, I want them to leave.  Freddie and I are going to take a little drive, and the only people that better be here when we come back are you, Lexi, Ethan, and Evan.’  Sending the text, Sam started the car once more and pulled away, “Where are we going, I thought we were,”  but she stopped him.  “We were, but Carly needs a little time to clean up her mess, and then we’ll go home.”  Freddie wasn’t in the mood to deal with people, but he wanted to be home right now with his family.  “How long until we can come back?” he asked with a yawn, “I’m giving Carly ten minutes,” Sam responded, turning out of their neighborhood.  While they were out, Sam and Freddie decided to grab some food from a local place, so the drive took more than ten minutes.</p>
<p>     By the time they returned, only Carly’s vehicle was in the Benson driveway, ‘Good, everyone is gone,’ Sam thought to herself as she pulled into the now deserted driveway.  Shutting off the car, Sam grabbed the two large bags of carry-out food while Freddie grabbed the lone backpack full of his belongings from the hospital.  “I’m starving,” Sam said, inhaling the aroma emanating from the bags she carried, “me too,” Freddie chimed in, making their way to the front door.  Sam stopped just shy of the door, causing Freddie to skid to a halt, “Hey, why’d you stop?” he asked, bending over to pick up the bag he dropped.  Offering no response, Freddie tried again, “Sam?” he asked, curious, and a little worried about why she didn’t respond.  “Sam?” he tried again, placing a hand gently on her shoulder, “you okay?”  Turning to face Freddie, Sam was suddenly aware that she was exceedingly nervous, so much so that her voice quivered as she spoke, “Yeah, I’m fine.  I didn’t think I would feel this way when you came home.”  Freddie was confused, “What do you mean?  Did you not want me to come home?”</p>
<p>     Sam shook her head, both to clear the haze that formed, but also as an answer to Freddie’s question, “No nothing like that,” she replied.  “We’ve been ready and waiting for you to come home since the day of the accident.”  Sam paused, not wanting to voice the thought that caused her to stop in the first place.  He wasn’t sure if it was Sam, the current situation, or a combination of the two, but Freddie didn’t like what was happening, “Sam, what’s the matter?”  What happened next was unexpected; Sam pinched herself hard and appeared surprised when it hurt.  Freddie grabbed her arm and examined the spot she had pinched, “What the hell did you do that for?” he asked, concerned and upset at the same time.  Personal experience had taught Freddie just how powerful Sam was and how much damage she could do if she wanted.  “Not a dream,” Sam whispered, causing Freddie even more confusion, “what does that mean?”  Rubbing her arm, Sam looked up sheepishly at Freddie, “I had to make sure this wasn’t another dream.”</p>
<p>     Freddie’s face contorted even more, “another dream?” he asked, now so confused his face probably looked like a prune.  “Ever since your accident,” Sam began, “I’ve had dreams about you coming home.  Everything seems fine, everyone’s happy, but just as we’re about to walk into the house...” Sam wiped away the tears that had formed in her eyes.  “...always before we walk into the house, I wake up and lay there for a moment, thinking that you're next to me in bed, and then it hits me that you’re still in the hospital.”  Freddie wrapped his arms around her, “Sam, I promise you, this is not a dream.  I’m home now, and I promise you won’t be waking up alone.”  Nodding her head, Sam took a moment to compose herself, “Thank you, but if you tell anyone about this,” Freddie knew better than to talk about things like that, “Your secret is safe with me.”  Sam knew she had nothing to worry about, so there was only one thing left to do, “Are you ready to meet your kids?” she asked, placing her hand on the doorknob.  Freddie found that he was no longer nervous, but rather excited to walk through that door to the family beyond it, “Yes, I am,” he answered.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. iRemember C10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just wanted to say that MyCarlyDotCom and myself appreciate those of you that have and continue to read this story as well as though who leave comments and suggestions for it.  Unfortunately, the remaining chapters will most likely not be posted every week as we have gone through our pool of finished chapters and are currently working on chapter 11.  We will do our best to get them posted as quickly as possible, but please remember that life happens and the time tables may fluctuate.  If you have any questions or suggestions please feel free to leave a review and one of us will do our best to respond.  Now without further adieu, I give you chapter 10.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Freddie had no idea what to expect when the door began to open. Sam, of course, had an inkling as to how the kids may react, and while the prospect of that reaction brought warmth to her heart, she still hoped they would know well enough to take it easy on their previously hospital-bound father.  As Sam opened the door, all three children looked up from whatever show they were watching and went wide-eyed as they saw their dad stepping in behind momma.  Lexi was the first one off the couch, followed quickly by Evan and Ethan, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” each one called out excitedly, running to Freddie’s side.  “Hi,” he responded, a deep unease on his face.  Lexi being the oldest was the one that noticed her daddy was not his usual self. “Daddy, are you okay?” she asked, and with that one small question, the moment that both Sam and Freddie had feared came to pass.  “Uh,” Freddie stuttered, looking to Sam for help, who stepped up beside her daughter, “Lexi, sweetie, do you remember when Mommy told you what happened to Daddy?”  The six-year-old looked up at her mother and nodded, “Daddy’s head was hurt,” she replied.</p>
<p>     “That’s right,” Sam replied, glancing up at her husband, “do you remember what else I told you?”  Lexi thought and thought about it, but after a few moments, she shook her head before hanging it in defeat.  Dropping down to her knees, Sam motioned her daughter over to her, “It’s alright, baby,” she said, embracing Lexi, “I told all of you, that daddy is all better, but he might not remember things from before getting hurt.”  “Daddy,” Ethan said, tugging on Freddie’s pants, “do you remember us?” he asked.  The question as innocently wondered as it was, made Freddie’s heart hurt, and he dropped to his knees in front of both boys. “Listen to me, boys,” he began, “I may not remember things from before I got hurt,” Freddie paused, fighting to keep his tears at bay, “but I do remember that I love you all.” </p>
<p>     If one were to look at Sam right then, they would most likely say she was proud of Freddie as she watched the scene playing out in front of her, but that would have been a gross understatement.  Freddie had handled his greatest fear about returning home before his memories of the kids reemerged and handled it better than Sam had hoped.  What happened next happened so quickly that Freddie didn’t even have time to brace himself for the onslaught of three small bodies.  Under different circumstances, Sam would have found the visual of her husband tackled by all three kids hilarious.  “Guys, get off your dad,” Sam said, trying not to laugh as the kids swarmed over Freddie.  Just as she was moving in to pull them off, she heard Freddie laughing; in fact, it sounded as if he was genuinely enjoying it. Well, everyone else was laughing it up, and heaven knows that the whole family needed this, so Sam joined in too.</p>
<p>     By the time Freddie was able to break free from his offspring’s onslaught, all five members of the Benson family were red-faced and out of breath.  Once Freddie caught his breath, he looked around a moment, “I thought Carly was supposed to be here?”  Sam took a moment to look around, “Huh, she was here.  I know I saw her car outside,” she said, looking through the front window, “well, she must have left during the ruckus.  I’ll text her after we eat.”  Freddie nodded as Sam checked the time, “Okay, kiddos, who’s hungry?”  All three children answered “me,” in unison, “alright, everyone in the dining room,” Sam said, picking up the two large bags of food and carrying them into the kitchen.  Freddie followed into the kitchen, and while Sam was getting the food ready, he worked on getting drinks for them all.</p>
<p>     Sam watched in mild disbelief as Freddie placed all of the kid's favorite beverages down in front of them.  An unexpected but welcomed surprise that showed his memories of the kids were there; they just needed a little push to be brought from recesses of his mind.  The smile that had made its way onto Sam’s face was still there when Freddie came to grab the first two plates of reheated food, “What’s got you smiling?” he asked. The smile on her face broadened, “Do you realize that you just got all of their favorite drinks without asking what they wanted?” she queried, nodding towards the kids.  Freddie seemed stunned by this revelation, “huh,” his expression changing from amazement to delight.  “How about that.  I didn’t even think about it; I just did it, kind of like autopilot,” Freddie remarked, suddenly feeling like something lifted off him.  Sam, for her part, snickered inwardly at the techy analogy of his.  </p>
<p>     “Here,” Sam said, handing him two plates, “will you give those to Ethan and Evan?”  Freddie nodded, took the plates of food, and stepped over to the two boys.  “Here you go, Ethan, Evan,” he said, placing dinner in front of them before returning to the kitchen to grab Lexi’s next.  Moments later, Freddie returned with Lexi’s food in hand, and Sam following close behind with theirs.  Once everyone was seated around the table, there was very little talking, which Freddie was thankful for, as he was still not entirely comfortable.  What conversation there was, was basic dinner table chit chat, the kids were just happy that their dad was home now.  Once finished, the kids went back into the living room to watch TV while Freddie and Sam cleaned up.  Stepping up behind his wife, Freddie wrapped his arms around her, “Why don’t you go sit down? I’ll take care of these,” he said, nodding to the dishes.  Turning around, Sam leaned up and kissed him, “They’re all yours,” she said, sliding out of his arms.</p>
<p>     While Freddie finished cleaning up, Sam grabbed her phone and texted Carly, ‘hey Carls, when did you slip out, and why didn’t you say anything?’  As she awaited a response, Freddie was drying the last few plates when his head began throbbing.  The pain continued to escalate, and Freddie barely managed to set the dish down before wincing in pain and quickly grabbing the edge of the counter to attempt to maintain his balance, which was swiftly becoming harder to do.  Though the pain lasted for just a bit more than a minute, it was long enough that he was concerned, and it reminded him of what happened while still in the hospital when some of his memories returned.  There was something about this one though, the pain was twice as bad, and he couldn’t remember anything more than before it.</p>
<p>     Would this be all that he would remember from his past?  There was still so much missing, the births of the kids, the early years of their marriage, not to mention their actual wedding.  Then there were family and friends, most of which he still wouldn’t recognize if Sam didn’t introduce them as if they were meeting for the first time.  Freddie was still deep in thought when Sam stepped back into the kitchen, “Hey, you won’t...” she stopped mid-sentence as she took note that Freddie wasn’t paying attention.  “Freddie, are you okay?” she asked, moving to his side.  It was at that moment that she noticed his hands tightly clamped on the counter, “Freddie!” Luckily, the pain had already subsided, but Freddie was undoubtedly still reeling from the episode.  “I’m fine,” he said, though he did not release his grip.  Sam, not entirely convinced by his words, replied, “Really? If you’re fine, then why are you still holding onto the cabinets for dear life?”  Freddie looked around, his eyes finally coming to a rest on his still clutching hands, “I, I didn’t realize,” he muttered, forcing his fingers to release.</p>
<p>     Once he disconnected himself, Freddie shakily made his way to the chair closest to him and dropped hard into it.  Sam pulled up another chair next to him, “What happened?” she asked, taking his hand.  “Do you,” he stopped, taking a deep breath, “do you remember when I had that attack, or whatever it was, just before some of my memories returned?”  Sam nodded, she remembered it all right; at first, it had scared the living hell out of her, unsure if the pain was an indicator of a more serious issue or not.  “I think this was another one of those, and even though it lasted about the same length of time, the pain was much worse this time.”  Sam picked her phone up off the counter and began looking through her contacts for Dr. Greene’s number.  “What are you doing?” Freddie asked, watching her thumb through her phone, “I’m going to call Dr. Greene,” she replied.  “No, don’t,” Freddie said, stopping her from pressing the call button, “Why not?” Sam asked incredulously.</p>
<p>     Freddie responded quickly, “Well, for one, I’m fine now.  I just needed to sit down for a minute.  Second, nothing terrible happened the first time, nor will anything happen this time,” pausing a moment, Freddie leaned closer to her, “thirdly, I missed you, and I want to be with you,” he whispered with implications he hoped Sam would recognize.  It was until he uttered the last part that Freddie realized that something had changed.  It was no secret that Freddie and Sam had been intimate on more than one occasion, three children and a fourth on the way was more than enough proof of that, but now something was different.  Sam’s body shuddered at hearing Freddie’s last statement; it would be an outright lie if she said she hadn’t missed that aspect of their life, but she didn’t expect this to happen so soon.  Sam slowly placed her phone down on the table, “fine,” she sighed, “but if this happens again, I WILL call, understood?” she asked.  Freddie  smiled, “Understood Princess Puckett.”</p>
<p>     He found the look of surprise that graced Sam’s face was amusing, evident by the broad smile on his face.  If she hadn’t been so encouraged by Freddie’s use of his old nickname for her, Sam most likely would have hit him for scaring her so badly.  “I should,” Sam started, waving a fist in her husband’s face, doing her best to be upset with him, but failing miserably.  Freddie, for his part, looked like the cat that swallowed the canary, at least until Sam spoke up again, “Do you know how much you just scared me?”  Casting his eyes to the floor, he apologized to his wife for worrying her, "I'm sorry for scaring you, it just happened so suddenly.  At first, I thought that no more of my memories had returned, but then I felt this overwhelming desire for you, and I knew at least something had returned.”  Sam gave him a sour look, “So what, you didn’t find me desirable before this little episode?”  Freddie cursed to himself, “it’s not that Sam.  Ever since I came to, I’ve found you more than desirable,” he paused, face turning red, “after this last episode as you put it, there was something different.”</p>
<p>     Freddie was trying to find the right words to describe what he had experienced but was not having much luck.  Growling in frustration, he was about to give up on trying to recount his latest experience when it hit him, “Do you remember when we found out you were pregnant with Lexi?”  Sam nodded, they were both ecstatic when her doctor had given them the news, but she was still confused, “what does that have to do with...” she began.  Freddie frustrated that he wasn’t getting his point across, pulled her face to his, and kissed her.  Sam instantly realized what Freddie was trying to say, the electricity was still there, but this kiss was passionate and gentle at the same time.  He remembered not only how they had both felt, but he also recalled how their love life had changed after as well.  They were still active, but it was different; no, it was Freddie that was different.  He had never been rough with her; if anything, he was more gentle than before, not only that they were more active than they had been.</p>
<p>     It was the fact that Freddie remembered any of it that excited Sam, and she wanted to see how much more he remembered.  “Do you remember her bout of colic?” she asked, attempting to stealth test him.  Freddie frowned, “As I remember it, Lexi never had colic, she was a tranquil baby.  Ethan, on the other hand, had a horrible case of colic,” he replied.  Sam was amazed by what Freddie remembered, especially given the fact they had never spoken about any of these things during his time in the hospital.  As the conversation continued, Sam realized the resurfaced memories were either about her or the kids.  Deciding to test further, ”You know, I’ll never forget what my mother said to me the day the twins were born.”  Freddie’s face soured at this, ”Your mom wasn’t here when Ethan and Evan were born, nor was she there when you had Lexi. She was in Las Vegas gambling, ” he replied.  Looking curiously at her husband, Sam had one last question, ”So, how much do you remember?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. iRemember Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A loud thud interrupted the question posed by Sam as she sat in the kitchen with her husband. It sounded to be that of a four-year-old landing on the floor after jumping off something he probably wasn't supposed to. Sam, for her part, peeked out into the living room to investigate, and wouldn't you know it, Ethan laid on the ground, looking as if he had just soared off the couch while Evan stood on the sofa as if he was about to follow his brother's lead. Promptly standing from her chair, Sam strode over to the kitchen doorway, "Evan Benson, don't you jump off that sofa!" she called to her son, to which he knew well enough not to disobey. "And Ethan, if I hear or see it again, it's time out. Do you understand?" she told the twin who was getting up off the floor, and he nodded in compliance. Before returning to her husband still sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, Sam took note of Lexi, who was quietly sitting on the other end of the couch. Though her daughter's eyes stared ahead at the TV, it was apparent to Sam that something was bothering her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey don't get me wrong, I was happy to see you remember the kid's favorite drinks, but giving the boys Wahoo Punch might not have been the best choice," Sam commented, strolling back over to Freddie, "the sugar got them riled up." Freddie chuckled slightly, "They're just excited that I'm home, maybe I should go play with them," he suggested. "We're all excited," Sam acknowledged with a smile, "and the boys would love that," she agreed, "but I think you should take a few minutes with Lexi before anything else." Freddie's brow furrowed, confused as to why Sam was singling out their daughter. "C'mere," she told him, leading him to the kitchen doorway by his hand to where they could see the children in the other room. It didn't take long for Freddie to notice what Sam wanted him to see. The boys seemed to be taking everything in stride, perhaps because they were too young to grasp the severity of what their father had gone through. Lexi, on the other hand, seemed to be detached from everything going on in the house. Her posture was noticeably slumping, and though her eyes fixated on the TV, it was quite clear that it didn't have her attention. "Is everything okay?" Freddie whispered to Sam with concern. "I think she's having a hard time grasping your situation," Sam explained, "You two were close before all this happened, and I think she's afraid that might never be the same."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Freddie could see that uncertainty etched in his daughter's face as Sam explained things to him, and it tore him apart. "I know this is a lot to handle," Sam whispered in acknowledgment that this was precisely the type of situation Freddie had feared most, "but Lexi needs you," Sam continued. Surprisingly enough, however, Freddie seemed to be taking current circumstances relatively calmly, and if he had any fear at that moment, it did not show. Sam noticed this, and she was immensely proud of her husband for being so strong, especially in a situation as delicate as this one. "I know," Freddie acknowledged not taking his eyes off his daughter and refusing to let his poor little girl feel that way any longer, "I'm gonna go talk to her for a bit," he continued, but before he could get too far, Sam tugged on his hand to caution him. "Hey," she said as Freddie stopped in his tracks to turn back to her, "Just so you know, Lexi can be pretty stubborn sometimes, so just be ready for that," Sam explained. With a smirk, Freddie nodded and said, "I know, she gets that from you." Sam chuckled under her breath, knowing how true that was, but then caught herself when she realized Freddie very specifically had replied with, "I know," in that last statement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam's hand tightened slightly as she still held Freddie's while they stood in the kitchen. "Wait, you know?" she asked curiously, "So you do remember more!" she added excitedly. Freddie smirked again, "Mhm, and I think I know what might make Lexi feel a bit better," he said. "What?! What?!" Sam's excitement continued to spill over. "Do you remember when I dragged you across town to some rinky-dink old hobby shop a few years back?" Freddie asked his wife. Sam paused, she had to think about it for a second, "That place we went to so you could look for your dorky trains?" she quipped. "Sure, let's go with that," he playfully rolled his eyes, "but we took Lexi with us to that place, and that's when she got into trains like me," he continued. "Oh yeah! You dragged us there to see if they had any of those rare 1952 Fudge Master train things you had when we were kids!" Sam replied.  "Trudge Master," Freddie corrected her, "and I was looking for 1951 by the way; the '52 models have six rivets in them," he continued in his nerdy fashion. "And now my daughter talks about trains like that you nub," she joked, but couldn't deny her happiness that Freddie had remembered any of that. "By any chance, do you remember…" Sam started to ask, but before she could even do so, Freddie finished her thought, "That you blew up my Trudge Master back in the day? Yeah, it rings a bell," he quipped. Sam tilted her head with a smirk, "Watch it, Benson, I might be pregnant, but Mama can still throw down if she needs to," she played along, and they chuckled together. As their laughter simmered, Sam pulled him close for a kiss, and said, "I'm right here if you need me," before letting him scurry away to go talk with his daughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Making his way into the living room, Freddie tentatively approached his daughter, "Hey Lexi," he said, to which she shyly responded, "Hi." It was clear to Freddie that he was going to have to ease into this, but he pressed forward, asking, "Is it okay if I sit with you?" and she nodded in confirmation. Sam watched on from the kitchen with bated breath, admiring Freddie being the man she had stressed he needed to be in the car ride home. Back on the sofa, Freddie asked Lexi, "Why aren't you playing with your brothers?" which garnered an indifferent shrug from her. "You're afraid Daddy isn't gonna be the same anymore, aren't you?" he continued, and she nodded her head yes before looking down at her lap. "I know, I'm scared too, but we'll be okay, Lexi. We're in this together," he explained, and she nodded once again, but Freddie could tell she still felt uneasy around him. "Hey, you know what I feel like doing?" he asked her, and she looked up at him, "Playing trains like we used to," he continued, and suddenly Lexi's face lit up. "What? You thought I wouldn't like trains anymore?" he smirked, and Lexi sat up in excitement, "You remember playing trains!" Freddie smiled at her, delight, "Of course I do! Wanna go set some up right now?" he proposed to her, and she fervently nodded in confirmation. "Then let's go," Freddie said, and she hopped off the couch ecstatically. "You still have all the stuff in your room?" he asked, and she confirmed, "Mhm!" before pulling him to the stairs to follow her to her room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Where are you two going off to in such a hurry?" Sam suddenly interjected as they were scurrying to the stairway. "Daddy and I are gonna play trains again!" Lexi told her mother. "Oooh, sounds fun!" she smiled at Lexi, "but can you give Daddy and me a minute first? I promise he'll be right there," she continued as her daughter sprinted up the steps, "Okay!" Sam smiled at her husband as they stood by the bottom stair, "I take it she was happy that you remembered your guy's little hobby?" she asked, and Freddie nodded happily. "Well, I'm gonna let you play with her a bit because she's excited, but don't tire yourself out because I wanna hear what else you remembered later on," she told him. "Sure thing," Freddie smiled before following Lexi upstairs. "By the way, Lexi's room is the second door on the right," Sam quipped, and Freddie promptly quipped back, "Thanks babe, don't know how I would've found my way around up here without that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>About a half-hour had passed, and Sam had herself occupied with the boys in the living room when she suddenly heard the sound of the front door unlocking, and it's opening. "Hey," a familiar brunette peaked her head in after using the key her best friend had left her for emergencies. "Aunt Carly's back!" the boys exclaimed as they quickly sprinted toward her, almost knocking her over as they crashed into her knees. "Whoa! You two seem energized!" she greeted them with a smile. "Freddie gave them Wahoo after you left earlier," Sam approached from behind and assisted in prying them off Carly's legs, "not his brightest idea, but he gets a pass since his head is all jumbled up," Carly chuckled. "Silver lining was that he remembered it's their favorite drink," Sam added with a shrug. "So, he's remembered a bit more since you guys got in?" Carly asked, delightedly. "Yeah, surprisingly, he's casually mentioned several little memories actually," Sam told her. "That's great!" Carly replied, "Where is he now?" Sam tilted her head toward the stairway, "He's playing with Lexi upstairs. I think it's something they both needed, honestly." Carly nodded in acknowledgment, "and how 'bout you? How are you holding up?" she asked. "Well, I'm not fuming like I was when I pulled into the driveway earlier," Sam remarked with a smirk. "I'm sorry," Carly apologized, "I just wanted to do something nice for you guys. I should've thought it through more," she admitted. "Don't sweat it, Carls," Sam told her, "this whole ordeal has just been so stressful that I sorta lost my temper when I saw all the cars, but I know you meant well." Carly nodded. "Aunt Carly," Ethan tugged on her pant leg to get her attention, "come play with us," he requested. Carly certainly would've given in to the young one's adorable plea to go and play, but luckily Sam was there to step in. "Ethan, I need you guys to give Aunt Carly and Mommy some time, okay?" she told her son. "Can we play after?" he continued, to which Carly snuck in, "Maybe," with a smile. "Okay!" Ethan then scurried away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, how're you holding up?" Carly asked again, refusing to let Sam get away with dancing around answering the question the first time. "Quit worrying," Sam told her, but Carly knew better; the fatigue her best friend wore on her face told a different story. Tilting her head, Carly shot Sam a deadpan expression, but the stubborn blonde continued her futile attempts to appear unfazed. "Freddie's home now, the worst of this is behind us," she replied while shrugging. While that may have been a true statement, Carly wasn't so naïve to think that her best friend wasn't harboring some baggage from this whole situation. She could tell Sam needed to let some things out, and Sam, as much as she wanted to avoid it, could tell that Carly knew. Reluctantly, she huffed, "C'mon, I'll make some coffee."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Several minutes later, Sam poured the freshly brewed coffee into a mug and set it down at the kitchen table for Carly. "Should you be drinking coffee?" Carly remarked as Sam went back to the counter to prepare herself a cup. "No," Sam acknowledged, "but I think you've already figured out that I'm dragging here. One cup won't hurt," she continued. As Sam took a seat at the table with Carly, there was a brief silence between them before Carly eventually pipped up, "So…" she gently thumped her hand on the table; Sam was now the one with the deadpan expression. “Oh, c'mon Sam," Carly said with concern and a hint of agitation. "I don't know what you want me to say, Carls," Sam replied bluntly, "That I'm tired? That I'm exhausted? I am," she admitted. "Yeah, I know," Carly replied. "Then what are we doing here?" Sam shot back. "I'm your friend, and I don’t care if you tell me not to be worried, I still am Sam," Carly shot right back. Sam huffed again as she sat back in her chair, "and I appreciate that Carly, really I do, but this isn't helping me." Carly shook her head, "Sam, you can't hold everything in like this; it's not good." Still defiant, Sam asked, "Then what do I do? Please tell me. Do I heap all of my stress onto my still recovering husband? I doubt that'll do him any good." At this point, Sam was visibly shaking, and Carly noticed. "So, what do I do?" Sam asked her friend once again. Slowly but surely, the walls were coming down and acting quickly, Carly seat hopped from her position across the table to the chair adjacent. "You let it out," she put her arm around her friend, and Sam, in turn, let her head fall on Carly's shoulder, finally relenting her stubborn protest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>About another half hour had passed when Freddie and Lexi had finally made their way back downstairs. Freddie took note of the unattended boys in the living room and quickly prompted Lexi to keep an eye on her little brothers for a minute while he went to find their mother. He then scoured the first floor of the house until he spotted Sam sitting in the kitchen once again; she sat facing away from him. "Hey, things went pretty well, Lexi. I had to pretend I knew a bit more than I did, but for the most part, everything was great," he explained as he approached the kitchen doorway, but ceased his tongue once he caught sight of another woman in the kitchen with her. Though his memories of this woman were unclear, he still recognized her instantly from the old iCarly webcasts he had watched in hospital. "Oh, Carly," he paused awkwardly before adding, "How are you?" to the end of his greeting. "Hey, Freddie, it's been a while," she greeted him back with a smiling wave from her chair, "It's great to see you doing well." A slight awkwardness continued to hang over the room as Freddie wasn’t sure what to say next. "I know you don't remember me," Carly told him, "don't feel bad about it. Sam has kept me up to speed on how your memory has come along." Freddie shrugged, he still harbored some personal guilt over not remembering someone who was supposedly so close to him. "I have some memory, but it's vague," he told her, "I know we did the web show at your place back in the day, and I remember you helping Sam and me through our relationship issues back then too, but it's foggy beyond that," Carly nodded in understanding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, you and Lexi hit it off?" Sam then interjected, hoping to break some of the tension. "Oh, yeah it was great, she was thrilled," Freddie said as he walked over and took a seat with them. He instantly noticed redness around Sam's eyes; must've of been crying, he thought. "That's great," she smiled, "I know she needed that. I’m proud of you." Though it was welcome to hear that from his wife, Freddie's attention had already shifted by this point, concerned if something was wrong with Sam. "Is everything okay?" he said, practically ignoring everything else. "Yeah, yeah, it's fine," she told him. "You look like you've been cry..." he started to point out before she cut him off, "Shhhh. I told you I'm alright, you nub," she said with a smirk, which helped put him slightly at ease. Freddie then looked at Carly suspiciously, prompting a small chuckle from her. "So uh, hey," Sam then grabbed Freddie's hand, "Carly's gonna take the kids for a bit." Carly nodded as Sam spoke, and Freddie's brow furrowed in confusion. "They'll be back later," Sam continued, "Carly just thought it'd be good for us to spend some time alone together,” she smiled, and Freddie felt her hand tighten on his own.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. iRemember C12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carly’s glance darted between her two best friends, but each time it fell on Freddie, Carly got the impression that he didn’t want her there.  His tone was curt, his eyes hard, and his body rigid.  What troubled Carly the most was, she didn’t know why Freddie reacted that way.  Had her admittedly poorly conceived welcome home party angered him enough to cause Freddie to act as he had?  She’d have to think about that later, however, as she had agreed to take the kids off her best friend’s hands for a couple of hours so they could have some alone time.  Sam couldn’t help but notice that Carly seemed uncomfortable, “Well, I’d better get the kids and head out,” she said, standing up and walking back into the family room.  All three of the Benson children were seated on the couch watching TV, “Hey guys, how would you like to go to Funk E Fester’s for a little bit?”  All three children cheered, “Okay, go get your shoes on, and we’ll head out,” Carly replied, smiling.  </p>
<p>     While waiting for Lexi, Ethan, and Evan to return, Carly hugged Sam, “Thanks for doing this,” Sam whispered.  Carly nodded silently and turned to hug Freddie, but stopped when she noticed the look on his face.  “It is great to see you are doing so well,” Carly said, repeating her previous sentiment, extending her hand to Freddie.  For several moments she stood there, uncertain as to if Freddie would even shake her hand.  He looked at the proffered hand and then to Sam as if to ask, ‘do I have to?’  The look on his wife’s face told him resoundingly ‘yes,’ and Freddie knew better than to wazz of Sam.  Begrudgingly he took Carly’s hand and gave it one short and deliberate pump before releasing it.  “Are you three ready yet?” he called out, hoping they were so that this person standing in front of him would vacate the premises, even if only for a couple of hours.  All three children came charging down the stairs, almost tackling Carly, “We’re ready, Aunt Carly,” Lexi said, as Ethan and Evan each grabbed one of her hands and dragged her out the door.  The last thing Sam and Freddie heard was Carly’s attempt to say bye drowned out by a slamming door.</p>
<p>     Sam, who had been looking forward to spending some alone time with her husband, was now more interested in figuring out what was going on with him, “Would you mind explaining, just what the chiz that was all about?”  He looked at her, perplexed, “ What do you mean?” Freddie asked, not sure as to why Sam seemed to be upset.  “What I mean is, why were you so cold to Carly?  She’s been our best friend for years.”  He thought about it for a few moments, “Honestly, I don’t know,” his answer drawing a sour look from Sam, “You don’t know?” she repeated.  He could tell by her reaction that saying ‘I don’t know,’ wasn’t good enough for her, and Freddie could understand her irritation.  “Sam, I wish I could give you a better answer, but every time I see Carly, I get the sensation that she’s done something,” he paused, searching for the correct words.  Several moments later, Freddie was still having issues articulating what he was thinking, and then it hit him, “Let me put it this way,” he began, “when I look at Carly, I get the feeling that she hurt us, caused us to lose time together.”</p>
<p>     ‘Holy chiz,’ Sam thought to herself.  They had been together long enough that even Sam had forgotten that Carly had, unbeknownst to her, been the catalyst for their breakup way back when with that speech she had given Spencer and his girlfriend at the time Jenna.  Now Sam was wondering, should he be told about what happened or let him remember it on his own?  Her first thought was to inform him of the reason for those feelings, but then Sam realized that if she did tell Freddie, then there was a real chance that both of their friendships with Carly could be damaged significantly, possibly even irrevocably.  A sigh escaped her lips, “Look, all I’m asking is that you be more cordial to Carly. You said it yourself; she did help us with our problems in the beginning.”  A grimace crossed Freddie’s face before sitting down, “Please, sit down,” he said, patting the cushion next to him.  “I do remember what she did for us, but I can also vaguely recall that she either directly or indirectly hurt you, me, or both of us, and I cannot abide that.”</p>
<p>     Sam smiled warmly, “I love you for that, but you know I can take care of myself.”  Freddie wrapped an arm around Sam, “I do know that, but you and the kids are everything to me, and if someone hurts you or them, they hurt me.”  The look on his face told Sam that he thought Carly had hurt them in some way.  Sam, now annoyed with the situation, was almost sure she knew what caused Freddie’s uneasiness with Carly, and it was that little revelation that caused Sam to swear to herself.  If Freddie’s ‘feeling’ as he put it was the two of them breaking up because of what Carly had said, even if she weren’t speaking about them, then Freddie wouldn’t be comfortable with Carly until he remembered the rest of the story.  There wasn’t anything to be done at this point; telling him what happened would be a horrible idea, so that meant the best Sam could hope for was for Freddie to remember on his own.  Sam looked into her husband’s eyes, “Do you trust me?”  “Of course, I trust you,” he replied, mildly confused by her question.  “Then I need you to promise me that you will at least try to be nicer to Carly?”  Scanning her features, Freddie was hoping to find something that might indicate Sam wasn’t serious, but after several moments he saw nothing, “Okay, I will try, but I promise nothing.”</p>
<p>     It may not have been the response she was looking for, but Sam would, for now, at least, except his response.  “That’s all I ask,” she replied, pulling him down for a kiss.  What was supposed to be a quick kiss turned into an impromptu make-out session and was about to morph into something more when Sam pulled away, both of them breathing hard, “Why don’t we go somewhere a little more private?” she said, still breathing hard.  Without a word, Freddie scooped Sam into his arms before disappearing into their bedroom.  When Carly returned a little more than two hours later, she was surprised to see that the house appeared to be empty, “Sam! Freddie!” she called out, walking through the living room.  Glancing up the stairs, Carly noticed that their bedroom door was closed, and Lexi began heading upstairs towards Sam and Freddie’s bedroom, calling out for them, “Mom! Dad!”  Carly had a good idea about where Sam and Freddie were and what they might be doing, “Hey, who wants to watch TV?” she asked, trying to keep the kids away from their parent’s bedroom.</p>
<p>     Ethan and Evan darted over to sit on the couch, but Lexi continued up the stairs, “Mom, Dad,” she called once more.  Once Carly found something for the boys to watch, she turned to see Lexi mere steps away from opening the door to something that Carly thought could be uncomfortable to explain.  Lexi drew closer, and just as Lexi was about to grab the knob, the door swung open, and Sam and Freddie stepped out.  A yelp escaped Sam’s lips as she nearly ran Lexi over, “Oh, hey guys,” she said after regaining her balance.  Carly couldn’t help but notice that Sam’s smile never faded, but as soon as Freddie saw her, his smile disappeared so quickly she wasn’t positive it had even been there at all.  Freddie glanced around the room, making sure not to make eye contact with Carly, “Alright kiddos, time to get ready for bed,” he said, earning groans from all three children.</p>
<p>     “Come on,” he said, stopping at the top of the stairs.  Once all three of the kids were upstairs, Freddie turned to Carly, “Carly, it was nice to see you, and thank you for taking the kids,” he said, his tone not as clipped as before, but the look in his eyes still worried Carly.  “No problem, Freddie,” Carly responded, as he turned and disappeared down the hallway.  Sam could tell that her best friend was hurting because of Freddie’s seemingly callous attitude towards her.  Stepping quickly down the stairs, Sam hooked Carly’s arm with her own, “Come with me,” she said, dragging Carly with her.  “Sit,” Sam said, pointing to the chocolate brown recliner next to her.  Carly looked around nervously, unsure if it was a good idea to stay, “I think,” but Sam interrupted her, “Carly, just sit down, damn it.”</p>
<p>     Though Sam knew what she needed to tell her best friend, she wasn’t sure exactly how to say it.  How would she tell Carly that even though Freddie doesn’t remember her, he does remember the role she played in their break up, even if only subconsciously.  What’s more, there is still a chance that he may never remember enough to realize that they had all worked past the incident in question.  Sam looked up to see Carly staring at her, “Whatever it is, you need to tell me, just spit it out.”  Damn it, Carly and Sam knew each other too well, “Okay, you already know that Freddie doesn’t remember you,” Carly nodded, “Yeah, I do, but that doesn’t explain why he’s been acting as if he hates me,” she responded bluntly.  Leaning forward, Sam put a hand on Carly’s shoulder, “I wouldn’t say he hates you,” she paused, searching for what to say, “it’s more like he doesn’t trust you.”  The last part hit Carly like a ton of bricks, “h, he doesn’t trust me?”</p>
<p>     A loud sigh escaped her lips, “While you were out the kids, Freddie and I talked about a few things.  One of those things was the way he acted towards you.”  A look of understanding crossed Carly’s face, “That’s when you found out that he didn’t trust me?”  Sam nodded, “Yes, but it’s more than that.  He told me that when he looks at you, there’s this feeling that you’ve hurt us, although Freddie is more concerned about me than himself.”  Now Carly was confused, “I’ve never hurt you or Freddie, at least not physically.”  Shaking her head, Sam stood up, “It’s not a physical hurt; it’s an emotional one.”  Sam could tell Carly was still lost, “Do you remember that Jenna chick that Spencer dated?”  Carly nodded, but said nothing, “Do you remember why they broke up?”  “Yeah, it was because they were taking their connection and trying to force it into a boyfriend\girlfriend thing,” it was that moment that realization struck.</p>
<p>     “He remembers that you guys broke up because of that?”  “No, he doesn’t remember on a conscious level at least, but I think on a subconscious level, he does, and that’s the feeling he gets when he sees you.”  After learning this, Carly began to understand his behavior towards her, “So let me get this straight, he does, but doesn’t remember that something I said, that wasn’t meant for you made the two of you break up, and that’s why he wants nothing to do with me.  Does that sum it up?”  Sam’s head bobbed up and down, “Yeah, I’d say that’s about right.”  The look on Carly’s face confirmed what Sam had figured would happen, “I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing this is confusing to you?”  A single nod was all Carly could muster at this point, “well,” Sam continued, “since he doesn’t remember our breakup or anything in that general time frame, especially in regards to you at least, Freddie doesn’t know why he has the feelings in question.”  Several emotions coursed through Carly, not the least of which were anger with Freddie’s current situation, fear of what would happen if he couldn’t remember more about her, and sadness that she might lose one of her best friends because of this.</p>
<p>     “Sh, should I not come over for a while?” Carly asked, not wanting to cause any more problems, “at least until his memories come back?”  She knew that there was a real chance that Freddie might not remember anything else, or maybe everything but this.  Either way, she’d be damned if she would cause either of them any more problems.  Sam, for her part, had been worried that Carly would ask that very question, and now that she had, Sam needed to come up with an answer.  Why did this have to be so complicated?  Hell, for that matter, why did Freddie’s accident even happen?  He had done nothing to deserve that.  A part of Sam wondered if this was punishment for the things she had done in the past.  “Honestly, Carls, I don’t know.”</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Thanks for taking the kids out for a few hours, again,” Freddie shook Adam’s hand, “we sincerely appreciate it.”  Carly had once more offered Sam a kid free-night with her husband by taking the twins and Lexi off their hands.  Per his wife’s request, Adam had shown up alone to pick up the kids, as the uncomfortable tension between Carly and Freddie still loomed.  For his part, Adam understood the situation and didn’t let it cause any additional strain with Freddie and himself.  “Don’t mention it,” Adam released the handshake before getting in the car, “We’ll have them back later tonight,” and he pulled out of the driveway while Freddie waved at the kids through the window. </p>
<p>     “Sam!” Freddie called out as he reentered the house, “kids are gone! Why don’t you come on down and I’ll cook us up something nice?” he offered. “Ooooh, a romantic dinner? Mama likes the sound of that,” she said, approaching the top of the stairs. “Let me help you,” he replied, quickly making his way over and meeting her halfway on the stairs to help steady Sam on the remaining steps.  “You know, I can walk on my own, right?  I did make it upstairs by myself, after all.”  Freddie stood there, saying nothing, a sudden pale and blank expression on his face, “Freddie?” Sam grabbed his shoulder, “Freddie!” she tried again, still with no response.  His knees began to buckle at this point, but Sam was quick and strong enough to keep him from falling to the floor and possibly hitting his head.</p>
<p>     Even being eight-month-pregnant, Sam could still move him over to lie him down on the couch before grabbing her phone to call 911.  Once the 911 operator informed her the ambulance was on the way, Sam flung the phone away, not caring where it landed.  “Freddie,” she said, cradling him in her arms, “baby, you need to wake up,” she pleaded, tears freely falling down her cheeks.  That’s when Sam noticed that he wasn’t breathing.  He had been while she was on the phone, hadn’t he?  “No! No! No! Don’t you do this to me, there’s still so much for us to do,” Sam said frantically.  Remembering her first aid training, Sam began administering CPR in the hopes that she could get her husband breathing once more. It was sometime during this blur of activity that the ambulance crew arrived and quickly made their way over, “Ma’am, I need you to move out of the way, please,” one of them said, as the others began checking for vitals.</p>
<p>     Sam could do nothing now but stand back and watch these people work on Freddie.  She didn't understand a lot of what was said; the one thing she did understand was that he still wasn’t breathing.  Standing there, watching the rescue squad working, Sam could do nothing by weep.  The thought of losing Freddie was unbearable.  It was bad enough when he was in a coma, but he was alive, and even dealing with his memory loss would be a piece of cake compared to losing him completely.  ‘Oh, god,’ she thought, ‘how would I tell the kids?’  How does one tell two four-year-olds and a six-year-old that their father is never coming home?  Sam’s thoughts were interrupted by a long tone emanating from one of the devices hooked up to Freddie.  Sam knew the sound and what it meant; his heart stopped, but they weren’t working on him anymore, “Why did you stop working on him? You need to save him, please!”  One of the squad stood up and walked over to Sam, while the remaining members began to disconnect the equipment.</p>
<p>     “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there was nothing else to be done.  He’s gone,” but Sam didn’t hear anything past ‘I’m sorry.’  Breaking free, Sam knelt by her now-deceased husband and broke down, “Freddie! Freddie! Please, no, this can’t be happening, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”  The squad leader pulled his team back to allow Sam to calm down before they took the body.  As she lay there next to his body, Sam could swear she heard his voice.  It was low, but it was Freddie’s voice, of that Sam was sure.  “Did you hear that?” she asked, more for herself than anyone else in the room.  The squad members just looked at each other but said nothing.  ‘Sam!’ the voice said, it sounded anxious, worried.  ‘Sam!’ the voice repeated, the anxiety and worry amplified.  Looking around, she was unable to tell where Freddie’s voice was coming from, though she knew where it wasn’t.  ‘Sam!’ the voice called once more as she felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jolt up in bed.</p>
<p>     “Sam, are you okay?” Freddie asked, concern etched deeply on his face.  Sam turned, her breathing just now returning to normal, “You’re not dead,” she blurted out before quickly embracing him in a bear hug.  “Sam, can’t breathe,” he choked out.  “Sorry,” she replied, releasing him.  “Now, what was this about me being dead?” he asked, his concern lessened, but not gone.  She went on to tell him what she thought had happened, and once she finished, he placed her hand on his heart, “There, do you feel that?”  Sam nodded, “I know that dream felt real, but that’s all it was a dream.  I am very much alive and looking forward to many more years with you and the kids, okay?”  Sam nodded again, “I’m going to hold you to that, nub,” she said, a small laugh escaping her lips.  “Alright, how about we try and get back to sleep?” Freddie asked through a yawn.  Sam chuckled, “Sounds good to me, but do me a favor?”  Freddie looked at her, expectantly, “hold me, at least until I fall asleep.”  A wide smile appeared on his face, “You got it,” he said, wrapping her in his arms before calling for Pear Home to turn off the lights. </p>
<p>     Freddie waited for Sam to fall asleep, which blessedly took only a few minutes.  He wasn’t about to remove his arms from around her, one because he always enjoyed holding her while she slept.  Second and more importantly, Freddie was concerned that if he did, there could be a repeat of what just happened, and he didn’t want that.  Leaning closer, Freddie placed a kiss on the nape of her neck before closing his eyes and waiting for sleep to take him.  By the time Freddie awoke to his alarm going off, he was surprised to find that Sam hadn’t budged and still snuggled up against him.  After what happened, Freddie contemplated merely turning off the alarm and staying with Sam, but the kids would be waking up soon, and there was no way they could be left alone.  Carefully, he reached out to turn off his alarm but stopped when Sam spoke up, “Where do you think you’re going?” she asked, eyes still closed.</p>
<p>     “Well, someone has to be awake to wrangle in our little hellions, and I thought that I’d let you sleep in, so unless you want to do it.”  Sam groaned, “Nope,” she replied, yawning, “I will gladly sleep in a little longer.”  A small smile played at his lips, “ I thought as much,” he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek before turning off the alarm and climbing out of bed.  By the time Freddie finished his morning routine, he was pleased, no relieved, to see Sam asleep and gently snoring.  Stepping into the hallway, Freddie could hear cartoons coming from downstairs, ‘the boys must be awake,’ he thought to himself before opening their door and verifying the room was indeed empty.  Stepping over to Lexi’s door, Freddie attempted to listen through the door but heard nothing, so she was either still asleep or downstairs with her brothers.  Quietly opening Lexi’s door, he peeked in and smiled at the sight of Lexi wrapped up like a burrito on her bed, sound asleep.  Slowly shutting the door, Freddie turned and headed downstairs to check on the boys and start making breakfast.</p>
<p>     Both boys were sitting Indian style on the couch, each with a bowl of dry cereal in their lap, “Morning, boys.”  “Morning daddy,” they both called, not taking their eyes off the tv, “You guys want any milk with that or?” he asked with a chuckle, thinking they might at least glance his way.  “Yes, please,” they responded once more in unison and once more without turning away from their show.  “Alrighty then,” he then made his way into the kitchen, retrieving the milk from the refrigerator before returning to the boys. He placed their bowls on the coffee table and poured the milk, “You two eat over this, and when you finish, put the bowls in the sink.”  Both boys nodded, but never took their eyes off the show, “You’re welcome, by the way,” he said, waiting for a ‘thank you.’  Ethan was the first to swallow his cereal, “Thank you, daddy,” with Evan echoing his brother’s sentiment shortly afterward.</p>
<p>     Returning to the kitchen, Freddie began making several different breakfast items, including pancakes, sausage, hash browns, and bacon.  Shortly after the second package of bacon began cooking, Sam entered the kitchen and made a bee-line for the already cooked bacon.  “My favorite,” she cooed, stuffing several pieces in her mouth, “Mmmmm, so delicious,” she moaned, savoring the flavor and texture.  “Alright, go sit down, and I’ll bring your food over,” he responded, moving the plate of Sam’s reach.  “Hey Sam, I was thinking about something,” he said, loading up two plates with a little bit of everything, “What’s up?” she asked, more than slightly curious.  Freddie placed Sam’s plate in front of her, “I’ve been thinking about going to visit my mom; see if spending more time with her might knock something loose.”  It may have been unexpected and not what she was hoping to hear, but Carly still lived in the apartment across the hall from Marissa.   There was a possibility that Bushwell might indeed work some more of his memories loose, “I think that’s a great idea,” she replied with a wide grin.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but the next should be back to normal length.  I would also like to take a moment to thank all of you that have left kudos and sent us comments about our story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the next few weeks, Carly only visited the Benson home while Freddie was at work or otherwise predisposed.  Freddie had returned to his office over these past few weeks, and Sam and Carly took full advantage of that; when Sam didn’t have mini-panic attacks, that is. The thought of allowing Freddie behind the wheel of a vehicle frightened Sam to no end initially. That first day he went back to the office, she was such a nervous wreck that Freddie had to stop and come back in the house after pulling out of the driveway, to calm her down.  The more Freddie drove, the less anxious she felt.  Sam knew Freddie going back to work would happen eventually, as much for him to be out of the house and return to normal.  Luckily, Freddie’s expertise was not one of the things he lost in the accident, and while it took him a few days to get back in the swing of things, it wasn’t long before he was working like he hadn’t missed a beat.</p>
<p>     Today was not only one of Freddie’s workdays; it was also the night he was going to Bushwell, which meant Sam would enjoy one of Carly’s infrequent visits.  Sam opened the front door just as Carly stepped onto the front porch, “Hey Carls, come on in,” she said, stepping aside to allow Carly to enter.  Once inside, Carly hugged Sam, “How are you doing?” she asked her question, as always, about Sam’s physical and mental condition.  “Carly,” Sam huffed, “while I appreciate your concern, can you ever just walk in and say ‘hi’?”  Carly gave her a ‘duh’ look, “You know I can, but I’m worried about you, well the whole family, but mainly you and the baby.  Ever since Freddie’s accident, you’ve been holding everything in, it can’t be good for either of you.”  Sam put a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “I get that you’re worried, Carls, but I’m, or rather we’re fine,” she replied, placing a hand on her now eight-month pregnant belly.</p>
<p>     Carly thought she saw something cross her best friend’s face.  If she hadn’t known better, it seemed for a moment that Sam was frightened, but what could affect Sam so severely?  Carly knew that Sam would just shut down if she tried too much, and she wouldn’t find out anything.  “Good to hear,” Carly replied, deciding not to push, at least not right away.  “I’m going to grab a Pepi-Cola; can I get you something while I’m up?” Carly asked, waiting for a response, “a whiskey sour?” Sam responded, earning a disapproving look.  “I’m joking, Carls.  No need to freak out.  Will you grab a bottle of water for me?”  Once Carly disappeared into the kitchen, Sam found her thoughts quickly returning to the god awful nightmare.  Sam, lost in those thoughts, didn’t hear Carly return or that she was even speaking to her.  It wasn’t until she felt Carly’s hand smack her cheek that Sam snapped back to reality.</p>
<p>     Sam’s eyes turned up to look directly at Carly, “Did you smack me?” she asked, dumbstruck, placing a hand on her cheek.  Even though her best friend had mellowed over the years, Carly knew that striking Sam might not have been the brightest of moves.  “Sorry, but when I came back out here, you were a million miles away.  I called your name, snapped my fingers, and a few other things to get your attention.  When nothing else seemed to work, I had to resort to that, and it worked.”  Sam continued to run her hand on the point of contact, not because it hurt, but because she was amazed that Carly had gone to that length to get her attention.  That damned nightmare was doing a number on her, and Sam didn’t like that.  Sam took a moment to respond, “It’s okay.  Can I have my water now, please,” she replied, praying she sounded more confident than she felt.  Carly handed the water bottle over without another word, but Sam was positive that this was not the end of it.</p>
<p>     “So, are you getting excited to bring the newest addition home?” Carly asked, deciding the change of topic would be safer than irritating her best friend.  Sam smiled, “Yeah, although I’m more ready not to be pregnant anymore,” she said with a chuckle.  “The kids are even looking forward to the baby coming home.”  Sam was incredibly proud of that fact, as she had known multiple families where the older kids were jealous of a new baby.  The conversation moved from topic to topic, but there was only one thing that Carly wanted to talk about, and Sam knew it.  “He still doesn’t remember,” she said, apologetically, “but if it makes you feel any better, he doesn’t remember his mother yet either.”  Carly hated to admit it, but that did make her feel a little better, “Honestly, it does, but not much.  I’m terrified that he’ll never remember, and if that happens, then I don’t know what I’ll do.  The three of us have been friends for how many years?  We’ve been through so much, and I can’t imagine my life without both of you in it.”</p>
<p>     “Chin up, Carls, I’m sure he’ll remember, but in case he doesn’t, by the time this kid comes out, he knows in no uncertain terms that you are going to be around a lot.”  The smile that crossed Carly’s face might have been fleeting, but it was genuine, “Thanks, Sam, I appreciate that, but,” she stopped seeing her friend’s face.  “There is no but, Freddie is just going to have to deal with it.  You are my best friend, his too, even if he doesn’t see it that way.  You’ve helped us more times than I can remember, and I’m not letting this situation change that.”  The smile that had previously shown on Carly’s face returned, “Thanks, you have no idea how much that means to me.”  For the remainder of Carly’s visit, Sam did her best to steer their discussion away from, well from her.</p>
<p>     By the time Freddie arrived home, Carly had been gone for about thirty minutes and was already home talking to her husband.  “Adam, I don’t know what to do.  What if Freddie never remembers everything, what if he,” she paused a moment, “What if he doesn’t remember you?” Adam finished for her.  Nodding, Adam could see the terror in Carly’s eyes at the thought that Freddie might not remember her.  Sitting down next to her, he gently turned her face towards him, “Carly, I want you to listen to what I am about to say,” he paused, waiting only a moment for her nod.  “I know you three have been friends for a long time, and you don’t want that to change, but they might.  The fact is, Freddie may never recall everything, and that may or may not include you, but even if that’s the case, Sam will always need her best friend.  Just give it time, okay?”  Nodding again, Carly leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, “Thanks, babe.”</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stepping through the front doors of Bushwell Plaza was both foreign and familiar to Freddie.  He had known that his mother lived here, as did Carly, which in all honesty had almost kept him from coming, but the hope of another potential memory jolt was too alluring.  Looking around the lobby, Freddie noticed a rather dour-looking man behind the desk who had a rather large blemish of sorts on his face.  The man gave off a vibe that screamed, leave me alone, and Freddie trusted his instincts there; he had already known where to go anyway, having jotted down his mother’s apartment number in the notes app of his pear-phone.  Stepping quickly through the lobby, Freddie entered the elevator that two firefighters peculiarly had just exited, “I never thought I’d be back in that apartment.”  Strangely enough, hearing the fireman’s comment as they walked past him triggered something familiar, though precisely what it was, Freddie was uncertain.  Pressing the eighth-floor button, Freddie tossed the fleeting memory away and waited for the doors to open at his destination.</p>
<p>     Stepping out, Freddie was immediately taken by just how familiar it looked to him; it seemed so recognizable that he found himself wandering the hallway instead of knocking on his mother’s door. One area, in particular, was even unmistakable to him, the fire escape, which he had already gained a vague memory of previously; a smile found its way to his face as he passed by. After walking the entirety of the floor, there was only one apartment that gave Freddie a comfortable feeling, but it wasn’t Marissa’s.  This odd feeling caused several questions to race through his mind. Why did he feel more at ease looking at 8-C and not his own mother’s?  Who lived there, and most importantly, why was 8-C so damned familiar? These questions would have to wait for another day. He was there to see his ‘mother,’ the one person that should be the most memorable for him.</p>
<p>     Turning back to face the door of 8-D, Freddie chuckled at the apartment name-plate that looked oddly like a piece of the male anatomy. “I wonder if they realize what that looks like,” he thought to himself.  Shrugging it off, Freddie knocked on the door. “Who is it?” came a voice that was familiar, but only in the deepest part of his mind. “It’s Freddie,” he replied, almost adding ‘mom,’ but stopping just short; after all, he didn’t remember her. The door then swung open, exposing Marissa’s broad smile, “Freddie?! Oh my Freddie!” she greeted him with excitement, “You finally came to see your mother!” His unexpected appearance got the best of his mother at that moment, and she embraced him without warning. Freddie fought the impulse to push her off, so instead, he let her continue, opting not to reciprocate the gesture. If this woman was his mother, then why did he find the thought of her touching him in any way distasteful? Perhaps it stemmed from the fact they had hardly spoken since he last saw her in the hospital.  She was very much aware of the lack of memory that still plagued him, yet she embraced him as if everything was completely normal, and it honestly irked Freddie.</p>
<p>     “I’m so happy to see you, Freddie!” his mother said, letting him go, “I was beginning to think you might never speak to me anymore.” Freddie had a few things in mind he could say, but he didn’t want to be rude, so he spat out the most pleasant thing he could think of at the moment, “It’s been hard adjusting, not being able to remember everyone and everything that I had before is infuriating. I think with more time, I'll be able to recall more.” His mother nodded, not enthused with that statement, but the fact that he was there at all was still encouraging; after all, he had been declining her invitations to come over since he had returned home. “I see, well, I am still glad to see you, my dear,” she said, “I miss you.” Freddie nodded only as a nicety.</p>
<p>     “Would you like to come in?” she offered to her son. “If that’s okay with you?” Freddie replied. “Of course!” she spoke while moving to the side to allow access. “Thank you,” he paused, this time deciding to add “mom” to the end of his statement, though it ended up sounding more forced than genuine. Not only did it leave a bad taste in her son’s mouth, but it left an awkwardness looming between them that Freddie desperately wished he hadn’t initiated.  Marissa sat down on the sofa in the middle of the living room, “Please, have a seat,” she said, patting the cushion next to her, hoping Freddie might sit there. She watched Freddie glance back and forth between the opposite end of the couch and the recliner that though close enough to carry on a conversation, was also the furthest he could be from her. Sadly, but not surprisingly, Freddie chose the recliner, but his mother pressed on.</p>
<p>     “So, what made you change your mind about coming?  Was there anything specific you wanted to talk about?” his mother asked. “Well, I uh,” Freddie looked around the apartment as he spoke, his attention falling on the many pictures on the wall under a sign that read ‘Family,’ “I was hoping that visiting might jog a bit more of my memory.” Marissa watched intently as Freddie’s eyes scanned the decor. “I’m guessing by all the photos that you and I were very close?” he asked, the sheer number of images troubling to him. Marissa’s smile dimmed somewhat by the way Freddie had worded his question, “Yes, we a.., were very close,” she responded.</p>
<p>     At that moment, the realization dawned on Freddie that the number of photos wasn’t what bothered him. “If we were so close,” he began, his face hardening with every word, “you’ve got pictures of you, me, Lexi, Ethan, Evan, and a few people I don’t recognize.” Confusion set on Marissa’s features, “I, I don’t understand,” she replied.  Freddie stood up, “That sign says ‘Family,’ if we were as close as you say,” pausing to move closer to the photos, “then why are there no pictures of Sam?  Are you not close to her?  Sam is family, isn’t she?” Marissa nodded.  “Of course, she is.”  Marissa had the pictures that Freddie had asked about but could never bring herself to put them up. “Then why aren’t they up there?”  “You still haven’t accepted Sam, have you? After all the years we’ve been together, you still see her as, a, a," he stumbled for a second before something popped into his head, "some gutter girl, the one who stole your little boy,” he finished, anger starting to well up inside. </p>
<p>     “I think that is why I don’t remember you.  You must have done something detrimental to my relationship with Sam.”  Now Marissa was mad, mad at herself.  Freddie was correct; she had tried multiple times to break them up but failed each time. If anything, their love for each other grew more potent for each other after each attempt. “I think this may have been a bad idea,” Freddie said, taking a few steps towards the door, “I’m sorry, I hoped that coming here might’ve helped me remember you, but now I’m not sure I want to.” Closing the distance between himself and the door, Freddie turned back to Marissa, “Goodbye, Ms. Benson,” he said as the door closed.  Inhaling deeply, Freddie turned to leave and once again caught sight of the door for 8-C.  He felt an overwhelming urge to walk through said door, but even though it felt so familiar, he didn’t know who lived there, or did he?  The thought of knocking crossed his mind, but with what had transpired with his mother, he felt drained and just wanted to go home.</p>
<p>     Arriving home, Freddie found Sam in the living room watching something with the kids. No sooner had he walked in that Sam could tell something was wrong. She was about to say something when Lexi saw Freddie as well, “Daddy’s home!” she exclaimed before jumping off the couch and barrelling towards him. Putting on his best smile, Freddie scooped up Lexi and hugged her, “Hey there, doodlebug!” he exclaimed as she giggled in his arms.  Ethan and Evan weren’t far behind, with Ethan grabbing Freddie’s right leg and Evan grabbing the left. “Whoa, there, boys!” Freddie said as the twins almost knocked their father off his feet. Sam stepped over to her husband, leaned in close, “Do you want to talk about it?” she whispered in his ear. He didn't want to, but knew talking might help, so a reluctant nod was all he could muster after the trip to Bushwell; to say it was draining was an understatement. “Alright, kiddos, I think it’s time for you three to get ready for bed.”</p>
<p>     All three kids groaned in response, earning a quick grin from both parents, “You heard mommy, let’s go,” Freddie said, hugging Lexi. Once he released her, Lexi scampered upstairs while Freddie removed both boys from his person, handed Evan to Sam, then picked up Ethan before heading upstairs as well. “Why don’t you check-in on Lexi, and I’ll get the boys ready?” Freddie said, putting his free arm out for Evan. “Here you go,” Sam replied, passing over her passenger, “I’ll meet you in our room after you get these two in bed. Night thing one and thing two,” she said, earning a laugh from both boys and Freddie before disappearing into the twin’s room. Neither parent was able to get away without reading a story. Lexi insisted on her favorite ‘The Goodnight Train,’ while the twins wanted Boogie Bear. Once they had finished the books and all three children tucked in, Sam and Freddie retired to their bedroom.</p>
<p>     Sam, being the first one to the room, was changing for bed when Freddie entered. Seeing his heavily pregnant wife change for bed still had a considerable effect on him. Freddie let out a wolf-whistle as he stepped fully into the room, ‘damn, she is gorgeous,’ he thought to himself, his legs moving him close enough to wrap Sam in his arms. “Hey there, pretty lady,” he whispered in her ear, eliciting a moan of delight before trailing several kisses up and down the side of her neck. Though she wanted to let him continue, Sam spun around to face Freddie, “Hold your horses' big boy. Before you get yourself too worked up, tell me what happened at your mom’s? You seemed upset, angry, or maybe both.” A deep sign emanated from Freddie, “Would you believe me if I said it didn’t go well?”</p>
<p>     “Oh, I’d believe that,” she paused, pulling him closer as for a kiss, stopping just as her lips brushed his, “but there’s still the little issue of that not answering my question.” Freddie groaned before spending the next ten minutes recounting the events that transpired earlier that evening.  The fact that Freddie called Marissa out about there being no pictures of her made Sam feel, well, she wasn’t sure how to feel. That was something she wanted him to do for years, but not like this. Freddie had gone over there in hopes that it would help with his memory, which appeared unlikely. “I’m sorry your visit didn’t go the way you wanted it to..,” Freddie cut her off, “you know that’s the damnedest thing, Sam; I don’t know how I wanted it to go.”</p>
<p>     That remark caught Sam off guard, “I thought you went over there to try and jog your memory?” “I did, or I thought I had, but once I got there,” he trailed off momentarily, “there was something about her and that place. I know that I lived there, but it felt unfamiliar, alien to me.” The look on his face told Sam that there was a question he wanted to ask, but not sure if he could or should. “Listen, nub,” Sam began, hoping to lighten the moment, “whatever question you have rattling around in the head of yours, ask it.” Freddie was still hesitant, “Look, if you’re afraid that I’ll be mad or something, I promise that I won’t be.” Shaking his head, “it’s not you that I’m worried about; it’s me.”</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First off, apologizes for the delay in posting this chapter, sometimes life just gets in the way.  We have not given up on this story and it will be finished.  Thank you to everyone that has read the story and taken the time to leave us feedback.  The next chapter is in the works and will hopefully be up shortly.  In the meantime please enjoy chapter 16.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam was confused; why would he be worried about himself? Why would he be angry? She knew all too well how much of a pain Marissa could be, but her mother-in-law had changed over the years, so much so that Sam no longer found it insulting for someone to call her Mrs. Benson. “So, why are you...” she began, “Why am I worried about myself?” Freddie completed. Sam nodded, and Freddie exhaled heavily, “After I lashed out at her about the noticeable lack of pictures with you in them, I noticed the look on her face. She looked, I don’t know, surprised, saddened by what I said.”  Now Sam was thoroughly confused, and Freddie could tell she didn’t understand what this revelation had to do with his self-trust. “When it comes to my mother, have, have I ever stood up for you?” he continued, and that was when Sam understood his earlier cryptic remark.</p><p>     Sam wasn’t sure how to answer that. While he had never directly said anything to Marissa, Freddie had stood up for her in his way. “If you’re asking whether you have done so in a direct manner, then no, you have not.” Freddie’s face dropped, “ahh,” was all he said. “Look, babe, you have never been much on confrontations. You prefer what most people would call the diplomatic approach, and I love you for that.” Freddie appeared to accept her response as a smile slowly returned to his face, but he still wasn't sure even with his wife's reassurances.</p><p>     An hour or so later, back at Bushwell, Marissa sat on her couch with the TV on, though she was too deep in thought to pay attention to it. The altercation with her son weighed heavily on her. Was what he said true? Had she not truly accepted Sam? Marissa certainly felt that she had, but Freddie did not, and perhaps he was right. With all of the photos they had done over the years, couple and family ones alike, why had she never put up any that had Sam in them? Thinking further on this, Marissa concluded that there was one way to resolve this. Getting up from the couch, she made her way to the ‘Family’ wall and opened the hutch underneath the pictures. Pulling out the two shoeboxes of photos, Marissa returned to the couch and began looking through all of the images.</p><p>     By the time she had gone through everything in the box, Marissa had found that indeed she did have several dozen pictures with Sam in them. Freddie was right; how could she have been so blind to what she was doing? There were photos from senior prom, several weddings, including their own. Each one showed the same thing when it came to her son and Sam. They both wore a happy and contented look when they were together, something Marissa had not worn herself ever since Freddie’s father walked out all those years ago. Those first few months had been so rough for Marissa that she at one time toyed with the notion of leaving Freddie with another relative and, well she, had never got too far with that train of thought.</p><p>     Was that why she never put any of Sam and Freddie’s photos up? Was she so jaded by her experiences that she didn’t want to see anyone that happy, including her son? Marissa did not like where this line of thought was going. She had always told herself and others that the overprotective behaviors were all to make sure Freddie was safe and happy. This new revelation, however, seemed to disprove that. It was apparent that they made each other happy, but subconsciously Marissa didn’t want to be reminded of her unhappiness, so she didn’t put up anything that would do so. “How could I have been so stupid?” Marissa whispered to no one in particular before reaching for her phone. Scrolling through her phone’s contacts, she stopped momentarily on Freddie’s but thought better of it when she realized it was after 11:00 PM. Placing her phone back on the table, Marissa decided she would call tomorrow after work.  </p><p>     Despite her best intentions, it wouldn’t be until three days later that Marissa finally made the call, with the previous two nights emotionally weighing down on her, ultimately keeping her from facing the issue head-on. But she could not continue to put it off, and on the third day, she finally made the call. The phone rang twice before Sam picked up, “Hey Marissa, what’s up?” She thought Sam sounded like her regular self, “Hi Sam, is Freddie home?” she asked, knowing he was but attempting to gauge things before bringing anything up to her about Freddie’s visit. “Yep, he got home about an hour ago. Do you want to talk to him?” Sam asked, her curiosity piquing. ‘I don’t know,’ was what Marissa thought, but she replied with, “Not yet; I wanted to talk to you first.” She and Marissa had plenty of conversations in the past, but there was something about Marissa’s tone that intrigued her, “Sure, what’s on your mind?” There was a long pause, long enough that Sam wasn’t positive the call didn’t disconnect, “Marissa, are you there?” Sam asked. “Yes, sorry,” another pause, though shorter, “I know it’s been a while since I’ve been over there, but I was wondering if I might be able to come by later this evening?”</p><p>     That was a bit of an understatement. Before Freddie’s accident, Marissa had been at their house at least once, sometimes multiple times a week.  To say that this annoyed the young couple would not be an exaggeration. Since the accident, however, Marissa hadn’t been over at all.  “Sure, did you have a time in mind?” Marissa glanced at her watch, “I’m thinking around 7:30,” she replied, “Sounds good; we’ll see you then.” A couple of minutes after Sam hung up with Marissa, Freddie stepped back into the living room, “Did I hear you talking to someone?” he asked, sitting down in the La-Z Man recliner to her right. “Yep, it was Marissa,” Sam said, glancing sideways to watch his reaction.  There was the slightest hesitation before he responded, “Ah, what did she want?  Or was it a girls-only thing?” he asked, only half-jokingly.  “No, it wasn’t a girls-only thing.  If I’m not mistaken, it has more to do with you than me,” Sam answered cryptically.</p><p>     Freddie allowed himself a wry smile, “really?” he replied, attempting to hide his surprise, or was it disdain. His wife’s comment had Freddie wondering if Marissa would make an appearance, but if she was, then why choose now to come here? Was it potentially a misguided effort to try and help him?  Or was it the more likely reason, the picture incident from his visit?  “What time is she going to be here?” Sam looked at him, “How did you,” she stopped, catching herself, “who said anything about her coming over?” she asked, attempting to be casual as possible. Freddie couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “No one, but since you said it had more to do with me, and since she called you,” he trailed off.  Now it was Sam’s turn to smile. Even after all their years together, Sam was still surprised by how well Freddie could read her.  “You’re right; your mom is coming over,” Sam replied, continuing to watch her husband for any response.</p><p>     “There was something different about her, though,” Sam continued, “she seemed worried or may be anxious about something.” Freddie stood there, taking everything in without response.  He could only hope that Marissa had used the time since his visit wisely and thought long and hard about what he had said to her. “I think you got to her, Freddie.”  There was a moment of silence, “I hope so, Sam,” he finally replied.  Sitting down beside her, Freddie placed a hand on her very pregnant belly, “You know, as much as I hate to say this,” he began, his hand caressing Sam’s stomach, “my memory loss, at least as far as my mother is concerned, was a good thing.” That was certainly not something Sam had expected him to say, “Why do you say that?” “Well, from everything that I have remembered so far, what I saw at her apartment, and the way she reacted to what I said before l left. Well, it all seems to point out that I was weak-willed, or hell maybe even afraid of her.”</p><p>     Freddie looked at his wife, expecting her to say something. When nothing was forthcoming, he continued, “I don’t want to be that person anymore, Sam. I can’t be that person anymore. She may be my mother, but you, Lexi, Ethan, Evan, and this little one here,” he said, nodding at Sam’s belly. “All of you are the most important people in my life, and NO ONE will ever come before you ever again, not even her.” Sam couldn’t help herself as a broad smile formed. She’d be lying if there wasn’t a particular bit of pleasure hearing this from him, especially given the past between herself and Marissa. Their specific relationship had improved over the years, but there were still more times than not that Sam felt left out or treated differently from the rest of the family by her mother-in-law.</p><p>     A loud rumble escaped from Sam, “Someone sounds hungry,” Freddie quipped, “how about I go start dinner? Is there anything that sounds good to you?” Sam thought about it for a minute, “Well, I had been craving BF Wangs here lately.  You good with that?” Somewhat surprisingly, that sounded very good to Freddie, and he quite literally did not remember the last time he had eaten there, “Yeah, I’m good with that, do you want your usual?” Sam nodded as Freddie stood up, “I’ll go ask Lexi what she wants.  Do you think the boys will want their regular sweet and sour chicken, or should I ask them what they want?” Sam seriously thought about it.  The boys could pick their breakfast, so why not let them choose their food for dinner?  Well, at least when they ordered in, “Sure, go ahead and ask, but I think they may well just get their regular order.” Freddie had the same thought, but he decided to give Ethan and Evan the choice of picking something different or not, “I’ll call the order in once I’ve got everyone’s order,” he replied before walking upstairs.</p><p>     The Benson family had just finished cleaning up after dinner when there was a knock at the door. Sam and Freddie looked at each other; they knew it was Marissa. “You want me to get the door?” Sam asked, throwing the final paper plate into the trash. Freddie took a deep breath, “No, I’ll get it. She is my mother after all,” he said, his inflection almost emotionless, robotic. Freddie opened the front door before Sam even made it out of the kitchen, “Hello, Mom,” his voice the same tone as before. The current situation could be problematic, Sam thought. Here was Marissa, hopefully trying to make a change to keep not only Freddie but Sam and the kids in her life. If Freddie remained cold to her, this could backfire. If or when the remainder of his memories returned, Freddie would be devastated. “Marissa!” Sam called, shuffling across the living room to her. When she was close enough, Sam wrapped Marissa in a hug, “It’s good to see you and not have to walk out the door immediately.” Both Benson women shared a chuckle, “Yes, it is,” Marissa responded.</p><p>     They all sat down, Sam and Freddie on the couch and Marissa on a recliner directly to their right. There were a few minutes of chit-chat before Marissa cleared her throat, “Freddie,” she turned her attention fully on her son, “I want you to know, you were right.” A look of satisfaction crossed his face, “I never fully accepted Sam like family,” she continued, now turning to her daughter-in-law, “Sam, I want you to know how sorry I am for the way I’ve treated you in the past.”  Sam was shocked.  She had gotten used to it and never expected Marissa to admit to it, let alone apologize. A glance at Freddie told her that he was just as surprised as herself, “t, thank you,” Sam finally managed.  Marissa shook her head, “No, thank you, Sam. You had every right to be furious with me, but you’ve been so very kind to me while I’ve been, well, the opposite.” At this point, both Sam and Freddie completely dumbfounded; a feather could have knocked them over.  </p><p>     “Freddie, Sam, are you alright?” Sam was the first to speak, “y, yeah, I’m fine,” but when Freddie didn’t chime in, she turned to him, and he looked to be in pain. “Freddie, what’s wrong,” she asked, quickly moving to his side, “My head,” he managed to gasp out before going unconscious. When Freddie began regaining consciousness, he could hear several familiar voices and a few unfamiliar ones. There was Sam, Lexi, the boys, and his mom, all of whom sounded concerned or maybe afraid. The alien voices were spouting medical jargon, paramedics his brain told him, “He’s coming out of it,” one of the paramedics called out.  Freddie tried to find Sam and the kids, but his vision was still limited, and all he could see were two strangers kneeling over him. “Mr. Benson, can you hear me?” the young man to his right asked. Nodding to the man, Freddie knew better than to attempt movement unless requested or instructed to do so. His vision had fully returned at this point, and he could see his wife, children, and mother were all terrified.</p><p>     Both paramedics stood up. The second, a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties, extended a hand to him, “Can you try to stand up?” Freddie nodded and stood up slowly, hoping to keep himself from passing out again. Once he was on his feet, and the paramedics were satisfied that he could stand unassisted, they began to test him for any deficiencies in his mental or physical facilities. Seeing their dad back up and moving did a lot to ease the kid’s fears, but Sam and his mother were something else. Once their testing was complete, the female paramedic spoke with Sam and Freddie while Marissa stayed with the kids. “I don’t see any mental or physical deficiencies, but you were exceedingly lucky that you were already seated when you blacked out. Since you regained consciousness on your own, and everything shows normal for you, we cannot force you to go to the hospital. We would, however, given your most recent medical history, highly suggest that you call your neurologist and have them do a follow-up.</p><p>     Sam and Freddie both nodded, “Thank you for, well everything,” Sam said with a warm, sincere smile. Both of the paramedics smiled back, “It’s what we do,” the female replied, “I’m just glad your husband came out of it on his own and with no notable issues.” Once the paramedics were outside, the boys ran up and wrapped their arms around both of Freddie’s legs, nearly knocking him back into the chair.  He would have expected Lexi to do something similar, but when he looked at her, she took off up the stairs, and when she slammed her bedroom door, Freddie’s heart broke in two. It didn’t take Freddie long to reassure the boys that he was alright and not going anywhere. Lexi, he feared, would be another story. She was older and had a little more understanding about what had happened to him than Ethan and Evan and what it might mean.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Shit," Freddie thought to himself, hearing his daughter's door slam.  A shared look between himself and Sam conveyed the fear, worry, and sadness felt by not only themselves but Lexi as well. "I’ll go talk to her,” he mouthed before gently coaxing the boys to let go of him.  Sam took the boys, sat on the couch with them, making sure they knew daddy was okay now.  Stopping at Lexi’s bedroom door, Freddie had no idea what to say to make it better.  She may have known that he was hurt and possibly seen him in the hospital before he woke up, though he hoped not.  What happened tonight was the first time Lexi had seen him in any severe distress, and she looked utterly terrified.  “Lexi,” he called softly, knocking on the door, “can I come in?”  There was only silence in response to his request, so he rapped on the door again, “Lexi, sweetie, can I come in please?”  Being met with only silence once more, Freddie tried the doorknob, and unsurprisingly it didn’t turn.</p>
<p>    Checking his pockets, Freddie quickly realized he had nothing to unlock her door but knew exactly where to find something.  Opening the top drawer of Sam’s bedside table, Freddie found her lock picking set.  He could never say that he was as good as his wife, but she had taught him a thing or two, and Freddie was confident he’d be able to open up Lexi’s room.  Opening the kit, Freddie removed the one tool needed to do the job then placed the leather case back in its spot.  Returning to Lexi’s door, he knocked one more time; he didn’t want to pick her lock, but he would if she didn’t open up.  When it was clear that Lexi wouldn’t willingly open her door, Freddie removed the tool from his back pocket and was seconds from using it when Sam came up the stairs. “Do you honestly think that’s the best thing to do right now?”</p>
<p>     Stopping just shy of the doorknob, Freddie turned to face his wife, “Honestly? I don’t know. I saw the look on her face Sam. She was positively terrified, not that I blame her.” Leaning against the wall, for the first time since Lexi was born, Freddie felt like he failed his daughter.  A father is supposed to be a solid guiding influence always there no matter the time or place. After what happened tonight, would Lexi still see him the same way? A long exhale escaped him, “I want to make sure Lexi knows that I’m fine. I want to hold her in my arms and let her know that no matter what happens,” he was cut off by Lexi’s door opening. “Daddy,” Lexi said, her voice small and weak, “are you okay?” she asked.  Between the look she wore and the docile tone of her voice, Freddie’s heart felt like it might explode. Kneeling in front of Lexi, he wrapped his arms around her in the biggest hug he could.</p>
<p>     “Yes, doodlebug. I am,” Freddie replied, hoping that his assuredness would rub off on the young girl.  Though she was quiet for a few minutes, Freddie could feel Lexi’s arms snake around him, “You promise you’re okay?” she asked, not looking at him.  Freddie lifted her chin so he could look her right in the eyes, “I promise,” and then he added, “cross my heart,” he replied, garnering a relieved smile from Lexi.  “I’m glad you’re okay, daddy,” Lexi replied, squeezing him tighter than one would think a six-year-old would be capable.  “So am I, pumpkin, so am I.  Now, how about we go back downstairs?  I’d bet that grandma wants to make sure you’re okay before she has to leave.” Lexi relaxed her grip but did not release him, still afraid to let go. The fact that Lexi didn’t let go did not go unnoticed by her father, but rather than force her to do something she seemingly wasn’t ready for, Freddie took another tack.</p>
<p>     Wrapping Lexi up in his arms, Freddie stood up with her, “Now, how about you and me go show grandma that we’re both okay.”  Still a little shaken from what happened to her father, Lexi only wanted to spend some more time with him and no one else.  Lexi knew that it would be rude not to say goodbye to her grandma; her parents taught her better.  “Okay,” she replied reluctantly, “but can we do something after grandma leaves?” Freddie couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his face, “We’ll have to wait and see. It’s getting close to your bed-time young lady, but we might be able to work something out,” he said with a wink. His promise to ‘work something out’ seemed to soothe their daughter, at least enough to release her grip on him and start making her way back to the living room.  Upon reentering the room, Marissa looked first to Lexi and then to Freddie and was relieved that they appeared to be their usual selves. No, that wasn’t right. Lexi seemed the same, but Freddie seemed somehow different.</p>
<p>     “Is everyone okay,” Marissa asked, wondering if she should press forward with her previous thought. “We’re both fine,” Freddie replied, his tone seemingly unchanged from before the “incident.”  His response made Marissa doubt that something had changed with her son, so rather than risk doing more to alienate him, she nodded, “that’s good, and now that I know you’re both fine, I need to leave for work.” “Can I get a hug, Lexi?” Marissa asked, taking a couple of tentative steps forward. Lexi looked at her father as if to ask his permission, “go on,” he responded, worried that she wanted his approval.  Marissa did get her hug from Lexi, but it was a quick one, nothing like her typical goodbye hugs where Marissa would usually need to disengage herself.  “Well, I should get going,” Marissa said, dejectedly though she did her best to mask it. Releasing her granddaughter, Marissa hugged Sam and a reluctant Freddie before picking up her purse and coat.</p>
<p>     Once his mother was out of the house, Freddie, still with Lexi, latched on to him, turned, and headed upstairs. “Hey, where are you two going?” Sam called as her husband and daughter disappeared into the second-floor hallway. Under normal circumstances, Sam would have been chizzed off with him for walking away like that. Heading up the stairs, she stealthily made her way to Lexi’s door but stayed outside where she could listen to and see what was happening inside.  Freddie sat on the floor directly in front of Lexi, her small hand in his, “Do you want to talk about what happened downstairs?” he asked. Lexi looked up at him, started to answer, but stopped before saying anything. “It’s okay if you were scared, Lexi; heck, I was scared too,” Freddie continued. “The important thing is,” pausing to tilt his daughter’s face to look at him, “I’m fine now, and I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon.” Sitting there listening, Sam couldn’t help but notice how confident Freddie was when he spoke that last sentence; she certainly hoped he was right.</p>
<p>     Sam returned to the living room; she knew better than to leave the boys alone for too long; they were hers after all.  “Alright, boys, you have fifteen minutes, and then it’s bed-time,” Sam called out to Ethan and Evan as she passed through the living room on her way to the kitchen. When there was no response from either of her sons, she stopped and turned to look into the living room. The sight of Ethan and Evan leaning against each other greeted her. Everything that had happened tonight must have worn them out. Smiling, Sam couldn’t bring herself to move either of the boys, not wanting to wake them up just to put them to bed, so she decided to wait until Freddie came back downstairs. It was roughly fifteen minutes later when he appeared downstairs, alone. “I’m guessing she fell asleep on you?” Sam whispered.  Freddie nodded his response, not wanting to risk waking the boys before carrying them up to their room.  Picking up one boy each, they quietly took them upstairs and into bed without waking them.</p>
<p>     Shutting their bedroom door, Freddie spun Sam around and pulled her close, and kissed her. A less than characteristic giggle escaped her lips, “What was that for,” Sam asked, surprised as she could not recall Freddie doing anything like that before. “I have a few reasons,” he responded, kissing her again. Pulling her head away, Sam looked at him expectantly, “Do I get to know these reasons?” The thought to jokingly say no crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed it, as she had dealt with enough these last few months. Sitting down on the bed, he motioned toward Sam to sit next to him.  Doing as requested, Sam sat down and turned to face her husband, “I know the months since my accident have been difficult on you, not that you would admit it. You dealt with taking care of three kids, our unborn child,” he paused, placing a hand on Sam’s belly. “My accident, memory issues, doctor’s appointments, and so much more. I can tell that, even with as adept as you are at hiding things, you aren’t yourself.”</p>
<p>     Ever since they had dated, Freddie had consistently demonstrated that he knew her better than anyone else, most of her family included. “I also know that Carly has been coming over on the days I stay late at the office.” Sam was amazed, how did he know, she hadn’t said anything, and neither had Carly. The look on Sam’s face must have given away the question on her mind, “You’re wondering how I knew?” “Uh, yeah,” she responded with a quick nod, “I know neither Carly nor myself said anything to you. Was it one of the kids?” Freddie smiled, “No, it wasn’t one of them,” he responded, waiting to see if she might figure it out. Sam was drawing a blank; there was no one else it might have been.  The only people who knew that Carly was coming over were herself, Carly, and the kids. Hell, Carly didn’t even tell Adam she was coming over because she didn’t want him to slip and say something since he and Freddie are friends.</p>
<p>     “Okay, I give. Who was it? Who told you about Carly, and why aren’t you angry?” Once more, a smile crossed his lips, “Okay, first let me say that no one said anything to me. Not in words, at least.” At this point, Sam was confused, and it showed; how could someone tell him but not say anything? “Sam, it was you. On the nights I got home late, I noticed that you seemed more relaxed, more like yourself. I figured you had to be venting to someone, and I was positive it wasn’t my mother. You two may get along better, but you’re nowhere near being best friends. Not only that, but it would likely be strange to vent to her about me.” Freddie was correct about everything, but Sam continued to be curious as to why he wasn’t upset, “while that’s all true. Why aren’t you; I don’t know, mad, irritated, or something? The last time you and Carly interacted, you made it very clear that she was not welcome.”</p>
<p>     Freddie continued, though he found he couldn’t look his wife in the eyes right this moment, “To be honest, I was livid at first.” Though he didn’t see it, Freddie felt Sam tense up at his last statement, “it wasn’t until I noticed the difference in you that I began to realize that keeping the two of you apart was not in your best interest.” It was at this point that Freddie reluctantly looked up at his wife to gauge her reaction.  “I know that here recently I have been, shall we say, not a fan of Carly.” Sam gave him one of her ‘no shit’ looks, “when I finally realized how much Carly was helping you, well, I began to reconsider everything. You two have been best friends since grade school. She was there for Lexi and the boys' births, and I know you want Carly there for you this time as well. I shouldn’t have made you feel that you had to sneak around like that to see Carly, and I am sorry.”</p>
<p>     Scooting in as close as her stomach would allow, Sam kissed Freddie, “apology accepted, nub,” she responded, garnering a relieved smile from Freddie. “If I’m honest, though, I don’t blame you for how you feel about Carly.  She’s done some things that hurt both of us, but you should know that Carly coming over while you were at work was her idea, not mine. She didn’t want to risk doing something that could cause any more of a rift.” She expected that last tidbit of information to surprise Freddie, but it didn’t appear to faze him at all. Had he known that as well? Sam wasn’t sure what to make of any of this.  Had more of his memories resurfaced after the attack, or whatever it was earlier this evening? Freddie had mentioned things that had occurred in the same time frame as his other missing memories. The more Sam thought about what happened after the attack, the more she wondered if her husband did indeed remember more than he was letting on. If he were, the big question would have been, why had he not said something.</p>
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